


I’ll Make Your Company

by Catherine256



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:00:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24542734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catherine256/pseuds/Catherine256
Summary: “Our HURT team, which I’ll be running, has been assigned to the Bold Statement Brewery, which collapsed during a charity event...”“Melendez, Browne and Glassman went to that,” Park anxiously interrupts.“I still haven’t heard from any of them since collapse...”
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Comments: 70
Kudos: 92





	1. I Got You

**Author's Note:**

> Firstly, I want to say, that it’s so devastating what happens in our world now. Please, let’s spread our love, not anger. And I’m so proud of everyone who makes something good for people to know that all the lives matter. Our salvation in unity.
> 
> I hope you’ll like my work. Don’t forget to leave a comment, it’s really helpful!

“The hospital is on mass casualty incident protocol,” Dr. Lim stats and explains what they’re gonna do with all the patients in St. Bonaventure to get more space for numerous victims. “Our HURT team, which I’ll be running, has been assigned to the Bold Statement Brewery, which collapsed during a charity event...”

“Melendez, Browne and Glassman went to that,” Park anxiously interrupts.

“I still haven’t heard from any of them since collapse, I’ll try to call again. Now, we have to head there. Park, Murphy, you’re with me. Everyone else, prep the ER and yourselves. It’s gonna be real mess,” Lim orders and nods to doctors and nurses, who immediately starts following directions.

Park and Shaun are collecting all necessaries as Morgan, with her bandaged hands and concerned, though determined look, quickly approached. They’re surprised that she’s wearing her scrub instead of hospital robe.

“Clare’s phone is dead,” she murmurs. Reznick feels like everything inside her is rolling over from all the scary thoughts, but she tries to be calm outside. She can’t believe she’s worried so much about other resident. But she’s out the game after her surgery for a while, so her competitive bitchiness was gone, though not quiet completely, but it’s very unusual anyway. And she just really cares about her friend right now. Morgan even dialed Browne’s number with the tip of her nose as soon as she overheard that neither Glassman, nor Melendez, nor Claire were still answering to the calls from an attendings. 

“That’s bad. She may be dead, too. Or injured,” Shaun says, not even looking in Morgan’s slightly shocked eyes.

“Or not,” Park gives him the ‘please, shut up’ gaze. “We know nothing, it’s too early to conclusions,” he says and taps her shoulder.

“Ready to go?” Eagerly preoccupied Lim, in safety uniform and with medical case in her hands, gives helmets to Shaun and Alex, taking a deep breath.

“Yes,” Shaun says a little uncertainly.

Morgan longingly glances on them.

“And you, don’t even think about using your hands,” Lim says before turning over and going away with the residents. She don’t even want to hear any of Morgan’s answers. It’s an order. And Reznick get it.

***

“Hey, I already thought you’re staying home tonight,” Neil’s pleasantly surprising to see her finally here, on charity event, and smiling charmingly.

Curly hair lays on her back, loose, dark sea green dress under black jacket hugs her petite forms enough to make him a little nervous. And that glowing flush on her cheeks, God, he can’t take his eyes off her, swallowing. He wants to reduce the space between them, be closer to her, even if it’s just friendly-closer. But he can’t. Glassman’s already watching them, studying, trying to make it not that obvious. But Claire behaves more restrained and Neil sees in her eyes that they both know they under the microscope, especially after Morgan’s complaint.

“Well, home’s nice, but I decided to come eventually. It’s a great opportunity to donate for something important,” she looks into his radiant eyes. “I wanted to make you some company, though,” she’s smiling and leaning on the bar counter, her voice is barely audible and lips hardly move, making sure, only he can hear her. He nods lightly, holding chuckle back and trying to make his face less idiotically happy. “And it can be really helpful to forget about that horrible patient. Why come to the hospital if you knew better anyway? I still can’t understand... Uh, sorry,” she shakes her head quickly and reassuringly smiles again, taking her beer from bartender.

“Here you go,” he laughs and taps his glass to hers. “And I think we’ll discharge him soon, but you’re doing great. A little annoyingly, though. But your regardful and caring nature still was there, soft touch,” he shrugs, sipping his beer. He really is proud of her patience around people, her communication and diagnostic skills, even if they’re assholes and edging her she always stays nothing but professional. “I’m glad you’re here,” he knows, it sounds like he’s a bit too happy to have her beside him tonight. But he’s trying to make anything between them less awkward, especially after his a-better-surgeon-and-a-better-person confession. It’s hard to push his feelings away, but he can’t risk their friendship and Claire’s career.

“Thanks. Me, too,” Claire’s appreciates his comments on her good work, looking around and seeing displeased expression on Glassman’s face when Lea made her way to the bar counter.

She takes a two glasses of alcohol. “Nice to see you,” she glances from Neil to Claire as she stands between them and ignores Glassman.

“Lea. You’re with your friend here?” Melendez looking at her curiously.

“Uh, it’s been a rough couple of weeks,” she explains, sipping from one of the glasses and hearing Neil and Claire erupt in soft laughter.

“We’ll talk later,” they all hears Dr. Glassman’s voice and sees Lea almost rolling her eyes.

“Hey, they’re here! The guys who made this all possible,” they all turned around. Sweet middle-aged woman hugs Neil. “Honey, you remember Dr. Melendez and Dr. Glassman?” Marta wraps her hand around the waist of a tall and a little shy woman, Noreen, her wife, introducing them to each other.

Both Glassman and Melendez smiles to her, shaking hands.

“This is Dr. Browne, one of our residents,” Glassman says before Neil could have a chance to.

“And this is Lea,” Neil glances at her quickly.

“It’s an amazing place,” Claire looks around smilingly.

“Yeah, and your flavor profiles are epic,” Lea raised both of her glasses.

“Well, how about a tour?” Marta smiles to them all and sees enthusiastic nods.

They all goes to the back of the brewery, where huge barrels was. As Marta returned to the main hall with all the guests, Noreen leads their way to the barrels and explains, how they’re making the beer. Claire goes right behind Melendez and Noreen, Glassman beside her. Lea overtook them, looking around excitedly.

“Did you feel that?” Noreen asks. Trembling sensation runs up from the floor.

And then they feel the ground started powerfully shaking. Melendez’s hands found a place on the cracking walls as it intensified. The lamps shake from above as if at any second they would fall on their heads. He turns over and grips Claire’s hand, pulling her away from under the falling beam.

The last thing he sees is Claire’s big scared green eyes and hears her abrupt cry. And then only darkness.

***

“Don’t even think of it, Reznick. Go rest,” Morgan rolls her eyes as she finishes examining the boy, who got his leg fractured.

“You need me. There’s not enough doctors and nurses in the ER. And I’m not gonna use my hands anyway. Please,” she turns around to Andrews, who crossed his arms and looked at her suspiciously. He leans on the nurses’ post for a second as Morgan approaches him and around them is real madhouse in action. Nurses, doctors, patients, everyone and everything is moving, preparing for injured in the earthquake people and evaluating some of them already.

“Fine. But if I only once see you using your hands, I booted you off any attendings’ service in this hospital, clear?” Andrews exhale and gives her a though but worried glance.

“Yes, Dr. Andrews. Thank you, you won’t regret it,” she says hastily and smiles.

“I already am,” Andrews smiles to her, shaking his head lightly, and gets nurses together to explain them about what’s going to happen here and how they should help her. And she smiles, when they all finally called her a bitch and started working.

***

Neil opened his eyes slowly. His side is pressed by the beam and his breath’s taken as he’s trying to move. He get out from under the beam slowly, looking around for someone.

“Claire,” Melendez sees her next to where he was and helps her, still breathing heavily, but more relieved as he’s able to touch her and feel her aliveness. “Are you okay?” Neil checks on her, seeing a cut on her cheekbone. Her face and her clothes’ now covered in dust. His hands is running up and down her body, trying to understand if there’s injuries on her or not. Melendez pull her lightly in embrace, when he finished examining, and she clung to his chest for a few seconds, relieving that he’s breathing and his heart’s still beating.

Claire feels like she isn’t there, her mind processes all the things happened here. Brewery. Charity event. Neil. Glassman. Lea. Marta. Noreen. Tour. Barrels. Trembling. Fright. Neil’s hand that took hers in the last second to save her from the beam. Earthquake. Dark. She grips his forearms, finding some reassurance and feeling a pain, that pierced her from the wrist and up her arm.

“My hand... hurt a bit. Your forehead,” she touches it lightly with healthy hand, then places her hands on his sides and he hissed a bit. “Let me see,” she orders, remembering beam fell on his side, and after he brings up his shirt sees a big bruise. “You’re gonna need a full evaluation. I think, you’re bleeding internally. How’re you feeling?” He’s delighted and fascinated by her sincere worry about him, when she is obviously not so fine herself, but still cared about others first.

“Better than I should. It’s nothing serious, just will have to skip some gym sessions,” corners of Neil’s lips lifted a bit, but neither this nor his amusing comment relax’ Claire at all. “Aaron, you okay? Your shoulder,” the man stands up and beat his shoulder on the wall, adjusting it. Everyone frowns as the older man makes a hard sound from the pain that pierced him for a moment.

“I’m good,” Glassman only says. “Noreen?”

“I’m okay,” the woman’s in shock, but seems like nothing hurt her at all.

“Where’s Lea? Lea?” Aaron moved forward and stepped over the beam as the others is trying to get out of this hell.

Neil rummages through the pockets of his dusty jacket and takes out a broken phone that still works, to his surprise. His hands shakes a bit as he tries to call someone. Claire sees his not so stable walk and wraps her hand around his torso for support, it’s good for them both. He feels a little better and exhales with relief, finally realizing that everything is fine with Claire, but he still wants her to get full body scans to be sure and takes care of her hurting hand.

Neil says quickly on his phone and exchanges glances with Claire as they see collapsed brewery’s main hall. It’s a disaster.

***

“Audrey...” Neil says as she answers her phone.

“Oh, God, we’re on our way to the brewery. Are you okay?” Lim’s anxious.

“Yeah, I’m not that bad as the others here. Claire and Aaron fine, though... Please, get here as soon as possible,” she hears Neil’s concerned voice.

“See you in a few,” Lim sees curious and nervous faces of both residents. “They are alive. First, we check on them quickly, get them to the ambulance and make them go to the hospital. Then – from the most to least injured ones. All clear?” Lim orders to Shaun and Park.

“Yes, Dr. Lim,” Park says as they both nods.

***

“Who has a medical emergencies? We’re doctors and can examine it before the ambulance,” Neil says aloud, having himself attached to Claire and noticing Glassman’s back. “Lea?” He asks worriedly.

“The door to the Brew Hall is totally blocked,” his tone’s bewildered.

“Dr. Melendez!”

“Noreen?”

Melendez noticed her next to Marta, who stuck under the massive column and get to her immediately, removing Claire’s hand from him and regretting it immediately, but mostly not because he couldn’t stand still by himself. Incomprehension Noreen is holding her wife’s hand tightly, her shoulders shaking a bit and she looks at Marta with her teary eyes. Neil rushes to them, forgetting about his own unwell condition. “What hurts?” He leans closer to Marta. 

“My back,” she wheezes.

He kneels behind Marta and starts checking her spinal cords, where he last operated a year ago, spinal tumor resection, and orders Noreen to bring every first aid kit they got.

“We need help here!” Neil shout, seeing a rescue team and familiar doctors were hurriedly approaching to people here and there.

Rescue team lifts the column from Marta as fast and safe as they can. Melendez’s explains to them her medical history, ordering to place cervical collar on her neck to fixate it. But when the team tries to move Marta, who winced, suddenly appeared Shaun stops and asks if Marta’s right hand was hurt.

“It’s not just a fracture. Something is pressing on her spinal cord. Even the move to the board could shift the object, leading to permanent paralysis,” he explains hurriedly, but still in his unique manner. “I need to find Lea,” and he disappears in the mess.

“You’re injured,” Claire reminds him, seeing his confused gaze.

“We need portable X-Ray,” Neil can’t give up on that case now.

“You can barely stand, Ne- Dr. Melendez. You can’t help when you need to get help,” she says, carefully looking up at his face, covered in dust, and mentally punch herself for almost calling him by the name with Glassman standing now beside them.

“I’m absolutely fine,” he convinces.

“I agree with Dr. Browne, it’s not your call,” Glassman insists and heads to the woman, who’s husband was unconscious under the destroyed wooden floor with head injury. “You both go to the hospital on the first ambulance. Scans must be done. Objections aren’t accepted.”

“Melendez, please, we need a real examination,” Claire begs.

“Okay,” he gives up.

Lim notices them from the front door and exhales with relief.

“Hey, how are you feeling? Dizzy, nauseous?” She asks, approaching. Her fingers grab a flashlight from her pocket and she starts to examine first Melendez’s, then Glassman’s and Claire’s pupils on reaction. It seems normal.

“Beam hit them both. They need full evaluation as soon as possible,” Glassman stats before Melendez could say a word and then goes away.

“Good call,” Lim takes tablet with the scan from Claire’s hands and starts scrutinizing it. “What’s with her spinal canal?” She asks curiously.

“It’s the C2 screws we used to fuse the vertebrae once the tumor was out,” Melendez explains. “Audrey, I’m afraid, she needs surgery now. We have to remove it before we can move her to the hospital without being paralyzed for the rest of her life,” he assumes.

“We can’t do it in the middle of the mess, Neil,” Lim doubts, still looking at the scan.

“We have to try,” Claire intervenes.

“Do it, take it out,” they all set eyes on Marta, hearing her order.

“No, it’s too dangerous, Marta. Please, I can’t loose you,” Noreen whispers to her wife desperately. And they talks for a while, deciding on what to do and what is gonna be the best option for Marta. But the injured woman understands all risks and trusts Dr. Melendez, who saved her life once. So was it, and Noreen finally except her decision, nervously caressing her wife’s dusty hair.

Claire looks at them from the corner of her eyes and feels their fear and strong love. They’re devoted to each other and it’s might end if doctors make a mistake during that risky surgery. But they’re gonna have their former life if it’s going right. And she really hopes Marta survives.

“The main problem is we don’t have enough blood to replace hers if she’s hemorrhaging. We have to be able to transfuse her,” Lim starts prepping the place and the patient for upcoming surgery, quickly checking if the ambulance man brought everything she need from the board. As anesthesia worked and Marta’s eyes closed, Audrey explained to Noreen what’s going to happen, trying to reassure her that Lim knows what she’s doing.

“Well, you need to be precise,” Neil only says, turns his head to Claire, hoping to find out if she had a solution, and sees her full of million thoughts gaze.

“Okay, I need O-negative from the blood bank, and maybe we’ll get through this...” Lim tells doctors of the HURT team.

“Uh, I have a crazy idea, but maybe it’s gonna be useful,” Claire suddenly gets their attention and runs to the bar counter with no more explanations. Lim and Melendez exchanges curiously glances and look forward to her return. Neil gazes to the way where she’s gone and smiles a bit to himself, noting mentally she’s gonna amaze them again and it’s warming his heart. “So, there’s no issue, huh?” Lim squints, but Melendez only sighs and shake his head lightly, remembering their small talk, after favoritism complaint, about him having an ‘issue’ with Claire.

And she’s back. With doubtful smile. Medical gloves on. And beer engine in her hands. She put it near patient and pulls out a tubes.

“Okay, um, we can put one tube in a surgical cavity and the other in an IV, so we’ll pump her own blood back. Don’t worry, I sterilized the tubes with alcohol already,” she sounds excited and glances between Lim and Melendez, trying to read their minds quickly.

“That’s incredible,” Noreen’s is the first one who reacts to Claire’s suggestion. “Thank you,” she looks at her gratefully.

“Yes, it is,” Lim confirms, admirably gazes at Claire.

“Spend enough time around Dr. Browne, you get used to incredible,” Melendez looks at Claire proudly and catches her green eyes full of modesty and bliss. She never can stop marveling him.

And then she notices that something’s wrong with him. His smile is gone and his eyes are looking at every direction randomly. It’s like he tries to see something, but he can’t. And she approaches him instantly.

Neil feels a little out of place for a second and wobbles. His hands are up, trying to cling to something and stabilize himself. And as turbidity stays in his eyes, his forearm grips someone to hold him still.

“Hey, are you okay?” He hears Claire’s anxious voice from the right side and then his eyes clears, seeing her fingers’s squeezing his arm. “I got you. Look at me,” she almost begs, clutching her hand around his tightly, and finally his eyes focuses on her. “I’m here. See me?”

“Y-yes. Just blurred... for a moment,” he says, catching a breath.

She lifts his shirt without permission and sees the extended bruise.

“Go with him, now,” Lim orders, seeing his still a bit lost eyes and almost unconscious condition. “I got this,” her gaze returns to the patient and she makes a first cut.


	2. Waiting Is Killing

A blue light slightly beats him in the eyes, but he’s staying still, smiling a bit, studying a top of the inside in the MRI. Not the place he used to be in. But now he has a chance to be Dr. Browne’s patient and feel her commitment directed at him. So, being in that machine is worth it and he can’t complain.

When they came to the ER nurse bandaged Claire’s hand and placed a patch on her cutter cheekbone after quick check up and X-Ray imaging, what Neil ordered to do right away when other nurse has helped him in the radiology room. But Claire quickly replaced her as he was already on an MRI table and did scans by herself.

“See? My head is fine,” he says a few minutes later when scans must be done, knowing she sees him on the screen in radiology.

“And what, you want me to be sorry for insisting on scans? I’m not sorry at all,” Claire’s voice is full of concern, but she smiles as notices his peaceful face with blue light on it. “Your abdomen isn’t fine anyway,” she’s preoccupied as she passes the door to help him out of an MRI. He straightens up and sees a wheelchair before her. “Sit down,” she sounds orderly and talks to him like he’s really a patient and not her superior right now. Claire’s still in her green dress but her jacket’s gone and now he can finally estimate how lovely she looks in it even with that dust all over her.

“I can go myself,” he starts insisting.

“No, you can’t. Hemorrhage may intensifies, and you wasted enough time in the brewery already to refuse help now. Sit down yourself or I’ll force you,” she dares him calmly but persistently, tilting her head a little, raising an eyebrow and looking into his tired eyes as he’s copying her gestures.

“Uh, that’s embarrassing. And frustrating because you’re right,” he groans and sits in the wheelchair, noticing how cutely she lifted her chin.

She takes scans on the tablet with her and carefully hurries to the nurses’ station, hoping meet Andrews there. “I know, you’d prefer an embolization, less invasive, more successful, but it’s risky if hemorrhage isn’t from your pancreas,” Claire explains as they heads out of the radiology. He catches her gaze, revels in it, looking up and processing for a half-minute before agree.

“Do the surgery then. I trust you,” Neil says.

“I can’t do it, especially not on you. I’m a third year resident and my hand is damaged. I’m not a doctor who you needed to open you up in the OR,” Claire clarifies worryingly but steady. Neil can’t disagree with her. “There’s risks in a surgery like that. Diabetes, ostomy bag...” she changes the subject suddenly, sounding serious again like a doctor.

“I’m well aware of all the risks, Claire,” he chuckles lightly as she wheeling him down the hall.

Nurses are moving almost chaotically around the hospital, rushing and helping here and there. Claire looking for doctors, but no one was in the sight. She approaches nurse Petringa to ask if she knows where Andrews was. And before she had a chance to say something, Neil notices energized Marcus goes to the station, whipping the sweat off his forehead, and Melendez pulls on Claire’s hand gently to get her attention.

“Melendez? Browne? Are you alright?” Andrews asks.

“Do Dr. Melendez’s surgery. Please,” Claire gives him a tablet and he curiously frowns. “Internal bleeding. I’m not sure if it’s from his pancreas. Embolization’s too risky to find a source in time...” She explains to Andrews hastily.

“Okay, okay. I’ll do it,” he interrupts her and she exhales with relief, noticing Neil’s hand still hold hers. “Wanna scrub in?” He suggests wheeling Neil to the OR hallway as Claire rushes with them without lag.

“I don’t think I can,” she shows her bandaged hand to Dr. Andrews and he nods understandably, noticing disappointment in her worried eyes. For now she just wants to be with Neil as much time as possible before the surgery, so she clings to them and walk them to the OR-5 door.

“You can shower and help in the ER instead, if you’re up to. There’s a lot of people and small amount of hands. But be careful,” Andrews observes her slightly confused look.

“Yeah, I’ll do it,” she nods but still stands beside wheelchair with Melendez, hesitating and looking to the side.

“Fine, two minutes top,” Andrews orders, feeling the tension of the unsaid words between them, and fades behind the OR door.

Claire leans down and embraces him gently, feeling the wave of all the emotions and thoughts that they didn’t have a chance to indulge to. It hits them both and there’s not enough air to breathe normally since. They’re startled, snuggling to the side of each other’s neck and trying to think about something good. Neil’s caressing her loose disheveled curls as she’s keeping her hands tight around his shoulders.

“I need you to know that I...” Her murmured voice is trembling, but he can’t let her finish the thought.

“Don’t,” he harshly stops her, pulling back enough to look at her face and still hug her for the last time before a surgery. She barely holds back her tears, squeezing her lips in indignation and looking away. It offenses her a lot, his abruptness, his pity look directed at her... it hurts. And she feels ashamed. How can she even think that there’s slightest chance he wanted to know about her feelings? It’s so stupid. She backs up, her hands are clinging to her sides.

“Sorry. I h-hope it-it’s gonna be okay,” she stammers.

He wants to tell that it’s not the right time for confessions and they needed to wait until the end of the surgery and discuss everything. Not when they have only a couple of minutes and his upcoming operation. But he’s late. Andrews interrupts their silent conversation that took place after Claire’s words and Neil has no time for verbalizing his thoughts.

“It’s gonna be fine,” Melendez only says and Andrews wheels him in the OR.

Get yourself together, Browne. With that thought she rushes to the locker room.

***

“Claire!” Claire hears Morgan shouted from her ward and heads there. “You’re alive,” she says gladly.

“As you can see,” Browne sits on the corner of her bed and Reznick suddenly hugs her but only for a few seconds. “I heard what you did. I’m so sorry, Morgan,” Claire touches her forearm lightly to reassure resident and sees a sorrow in her grey eyes.

“It was reckless. But I couldn’t let her die,” Morgan’s tearful expression hurts Claire, she knows how hard Reznick worked and how she loved being a surgeon. It’s her the most desired dream, her destiny. And now it’s all just ruined because of her impatient, relentless and competitive, especially with herself nature. “I’m sorry, too,” she says with sadness. 

“What for?” Claire frowns and gives her a long gaze, trying to understand what she meant.

“You know... about Melendez. I sneaked to the gallery about ten minutes ago. Andrews keeps everything under control. But it’s so weird to see Dr. Melendez’s opened on the operating table,” Morgan clarifies and exhales heavily. “He will be okay,” she looks into Claire’s eyes and it scares her that Reznick actually deepened through it to her inside thoughts and almost read it all.

“I hope so,” Claire stands abruptly and smiles a bit, trying to make it cool. “I’m sorry, there’s still a crisis going on in this place, I need to go. But I can drop by later, if you want me to?” She asks doubtfully, not knowing how to react to this Morgan. Startled and bewildered. She tries to hide that unsuccessfully, because she’s really lost now and she can’t find a way to back her ability to operate yet. It’s frightening.

“Yes, if... you want, I’d like that. There’s not much I can do, so I don’t want to refuse some company,” she nods.

“Okay,” Claire mumbles and goes to the ER.

***

Claire joined an endless flow of checking ups, imaging, bandaging wounds, casting fractured limbs, even some simple procedures that she has to lead, because every attending was busy with something really complex and long in the OR. She’s moving from one patient to another, quickly and precisely. All of the work keeps her mind from Neil, whose surgery was still ongoing and no one could say how long it’d be. She has to stay self-collected or she looses and it’s neither a time nor place for it. 

“Abdomen’s tender. Ribs isn’t fractured. Breathing’s disturbed,” she’s listening the man’s chest with stethoscope, trying to determine why he can’t breathe. “Fluid’s in lungs. Chest CT, stat,” she orders and nurse Villanueva wheels the man to the radiology.

“Claire,” she hears familiar voice from behind and turns around to confirm that Lim’s really here and already helps nurses with diagnosis on different cases. “How’s Dr. Melendez?” Lim asks right away, mentally noting that Claire herself looks fine but understandably worn out.

“Still in surgery with Dr. Andrews,” Claire’s uptight.

“Neil’s already able to do the surgery?” Lim hesitates and Claire confuses to this question and then realizes that she didn’t know anything.

“No. Andrew’s doing surgery... on him, Dr. Lim,” Claire explains slowly and frighteningly. “It’s been going on for almost four hours already,” she continues, checking time on her watch. 

“It was internal bleeding?” She asks only to be certain in this fact and Claire nods, closing her eyes and biting her cheek from the inside to stop the upcoming tears. “How’s your hand?” She looks down on her bandage.

Claire makes a sharp exhale to that sudden in changing the subject. “Not that bad, but I’m not risking to do some difficult surgeries. Though, simple one’s on me and examinations... And maybe I can help with something in OR,” she can’t focus on Lim and what she’s talking about. She scowls lightly, firstly in the long time processing everything. All those thoughts breaks her inside and the world around her starts shouting down. She feels like she’s in elevator, going deep down and the walls closing around her tightly. Her lungs burn. She leans her elbows on the nurses’ station and covers her face with her hands, catching a breath. Her heart’s beating so fast like it’s gonna get out of her chest.

She can’t feel this way. Get yourself together. You’re a doctor. You’re in the hospital. Neil’s gonna be fine. It’s a disaster that should help you prove the ability to be in control and able to help. It’s okay. It’s okay.

“It’s okay,” she hears Dr. Lim beside her and finally opens her eyes. “In and out, Claire,” Lim says, taking a breath with her. “We need to focus on work,” she orders, gently touching her shoulder.

“Yes, sure. I’m okay. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” Claire rushes in her speech, looking like deer in the headlights.

“I hope it’s not,” Lim nods her reassuringly, she’s worried. “Okay, grab a sandwich and a coffee and then get back in the ER. It’s an order,” she taps Claire’s arm and turns to go to the new patient.

“I’m scared,” Claire says in a hushed tone after a second of hover.

“Me too, Claire. But we should keep it between us,” Lim smiles a bit to her and nods, pursing her lips.

***

Food got stuck in her throat as she tried to get a bite. She haven’t eaten since the lunch. It’s been twelve hours ago. And coffee tastes differently and doesn’t have an effect on her. It’s irritating as hell. This whole thing with waiting is driving her mental. She fidgets on her sit, plays with her fingers and necklace, keeps her eyes directed at one spot with no blinking. There’s only a couple of patients’ kin in the cafeteria. Silent’s crushing her.

_She knocked on his glass door lightly before opened it and came in._

_“Patient is stable. She’s lucky we’ve got that clot in time,” Claire said._

_“I think we should monitor her for a couple of days and then discharge if she’s alright. Good job, Claire. You can go home,” Melendez smiled to her and stood up from his chair to come around his desk and leaned on it._

_“Meet you on the track tomorrow then?” She gave him a complete chart._

_“Of course. I won’t let you overrun me, though,” he says and she laughed softly. “That charity event I’m going to tonight... Wanna join?” He asked hesitantly, crossing his arms on his chest._

_“Uh-um, I don’t know,” it’s unexpected and she stammered. “I’m actually planing on staying home and sleeping extra hours before tomorrow’s shift,” she said and saw his slightly disappointing but understanding look. She has that long shift from tomorrow on, so it explains everything. “Me and no other residents... it’s gonna be a little weird, don’t you think?” She chuckled softly._

_“Well, Park and Shaun have a night shift, Morgan’s out of the game for a while. It’s not that weird,” he shrugged._

_“Oh-kay,” She replied slowly. “I’ll think about it, thanks for inviting.”_

_“I don’t want to insist. It’s fine. Better get as much rest as you can before the next day. Anyway, Glassman’s gonna be there. I’m not fully abandoned,” he grinned to her as she chuckled lightly again and his inside voice keep telling him to be less idiotically happy just to be around her. They’re just a good friends, he thought again and exhaled._

_“Well, see you,” Claire’s corners of lips raised and there’s wrinkles around her eyes appeared. As she left, the only thing he could think is how beautiful her smile was._

It’s like a whole life ago when he unobtrusively asked her to go with him to the brewery on a charity event and she’s thinking about that suggestion till the night and then decided to go, never tell him before they met directly.

It feels weird after so many years, but she’ praying for him. Silently. Selflessly. It’s the only thing she can do to him and for him right now.

She’s taking a sip only to know coffee’s cold and bitter already. Claire decides to end up her ill-timed lunch and get back to work. It’s the only way she could distract herself for a while. She takes a deep breath before pass the door to the ER and throw herself into that mess with screams, cries, running around, examinations, too many injuries, pain and all that again.

“Okay, on my counting. One, two, three,” Claire, nurse Dhanoa and ambulance woman replaces the man, who has fractured legs and multiple hematomas, from stretcher to the bed in medbay. Claire examines his full body, especially legs, checking pulse in them. “We need an MRI and an X-Ray. And 5 mg of morphine intravenously, stat,” she orders and tries to compose a panicking man, Mason. “You’re gonna be just fine. We’ll give you some strong painkillers and then plan a surgery to repair your legs. Is there’s someone you want us to dial?” she looks a little of both – anxious and calmly – at a frantic patient, who breathes heavily and can’t focus his eyes on a thing. “Mason?” She takes a step closer to him and catches his eyes.

“I-I-I’ve seen it dropped... I’ve seen... And I couldn’t take her... couldn’t save her,” he breaks, his dark eyes shuts, sweat from his forehead flows down his tensed face. “The took her in the operating room like an hour ago, m-my wife, my Evelyn. And I don’t no what’s going on. You know? Pleas-se, tell me, is she a-alive?” He grips Claire’s hand firmly and she hisses from pain that pierced her immensely. She steps back harshly and frees her arm, a bit scared and worried.

“Your wife has to be with Dr. Lim, one of the best trauma surgeons in the country,” she answers, even tries to reassuringly smile, but she couldn’t.

“Sorry... Uh, waiting is killing, and I know nothing about what’s going on in here,” he groans boldly. And she exhales, because she think the same.

“I’m sorry... um, I’m waiting, too. My... friend, well, he’s an attending in this hospital... he’s been in surgery for more than four hours now. Still nothing’s known. But it’s a good thing, it means he isn’t dead for now,” she bites her cheek inside. Nurse’s back and give him an injection with morphine to take away the pain.

“Damn, that long?” Mason looks on a ceiling.

“Sometimes even longer, depends on complexity of the case. But it’s worth it if in the end the loved ones are alive,” she says boldly and sees her own emotions are reflected in his eyes. It’s too much what she told him. “I’ll check on your wife, okay?” Claire offers.

“Thank you,” he nods energetically as nurse wheels him to the radiology.

Claire rushes to the nurse’ station and starts digging in the charts, searching a patient with name Evelyn, and within two minutes she finds it. Patient: Mills, Evelyn. Doctor: Lim, Audrey. As she knew. The woman has intracranial pressure and chest injuries, including fractured ribs and torn lung. Claire notices nurse’s note about OR-2 and hastens there.

She goes upstairs to the gallery and sees the woman opened on the operating table. Monitors’ beeping like crazy, she’s bradycardic. Lim’s trying to stabilize her, but she’s not responding to medications.

Claire leans on the railing with her hands, almost losing her breath.

“Cardiac arrest. Starting CPR,” Claire hears Lim shouted. “Defibrillation, stat. Charge at 80,” everyone in the OR bustles, trying to bring Evelyn to consciousness.

“Charge,” nurse’s says. “Clear.”

“Again,” Lim orders.

“Charge. Clear.”

They waits for a few seconds, pushing another dose of atropine.

What if something like that happens in Neil’s surgery, too?

And then she’s stabilizing.

“Good job. Let’s close her. Suture,” Lim starts closure and raises her head, hearing Claire’s shaking exhale.

And then she’s faded from the gallery, rushing to the OR hallway. She wants to go to Andrews, but pushes herself back to the ER. It still has a lot of injured people and not so much doctors. And she can’t stand even thinking about Neil being in surgery as a patient and seeing him won’t help at all. So, she just keeps waiting, but decides to do one more thing.

She stops by the ward and comes in deliberately, seeing the man who’s being prepped for surgery.

“It’s almost over. She’s stable now,” Claire said simply.

“Oh, thank God,” Mason sharply exhales. “Thank you, thank you so much,” he says sincerely.

“I did nothing. It’s all due to Dr. Lim,” Clare shrugs off, genuinely smiling to the man, who looks still worried but a bit relieved. “I think, you’ll meet her only after your surgery,” she clarifies.

“It’s better than never,” he agrees and Claire nods, leaving. “I hope your... friend will be okay, too,” Mason stammers on the word “friend” and she turns around only to see a slight grin on his face and s raising eyebrows.

“I hope so,” she says hurriedly and goes away.

She lost in examinations and procedures till the early morning without a second to even think about something then a various of patients. Overwhelming’s gradually declining. There’s much less amount of people in the ER and most of the doctors already finished all hard surgeries.

Claire goes on rounds and religiously checking on every patient in the wards and their treatment. It’s finally quiet on that floor only about 8 a.m. Though, in the ER still noisy, but less than it was before. She slowly moves from patient to patient, feeling weirdly energized because of adrenaline and being on her last legs at the same time. She tied her hair up, but now it’s disheveled and curls are getting in her face with every movement, so she finally fixes them.

Claire wants to take another chart from nurses’ station when she get a page. She rushes to the ward, where she needed to be, and sees Andrews and Lim there next to patient’s bed. Claire goes in and catches a familiar gaze on her. Eyes still slightly open, skin a bit grey. Tiredness is there, too. And life. Melendez.

“Dr. Lim, Dr. Andrews,” Claire nods to them and approaches, there’s a silent question in her eyes and they’re hasten to tell her everything.

“Everything went well, except the one time he had bradycardia,” Andrews says, holding Melendez’s chart. “We have to monitor his lactate and there’s a minimal risk of liver failure and septic shock. He needs a feed tube for a while. Possible diabetes,” he explains to Claire and smiles, proudly of what they all did. “You’re lucky Glassman and Browne insisted on your hospitalization in the right time. Waited a little longer and you could die,” he gives Neil a long look.

“How’s Marta?” It’s the first words Claire heard from him after a surgery. And instead of all the things he could ask about his own condition, he’s interested in Marta’s state more.

“She’s absolutely fine. Thanks to Claire and her beer engine’s idea,” Lim replies.

“What’s idea?” Andrews asks curiously in surprise, glancing in Claire’s side and waiting for her answer, but she just shyly smiles.

“Let’s check on Marta and I’ll tell you everything,” Lim tilts her head to the door, showing Andrews to follow her and quickly giving Claire a slight nod to stay here. Audrey knows he waited for Claire since his eyes opened and she wanted to see him as well. So, no matter how wrong it could be Lim decided to give them some space to talk.

And that’s why she leads Andrews away persistently.

“Hey,” his voice is still hoarse.

Claire hesitantly approaches and carefully sits on the bed, next to his legs.

“You could die,” she says in a hushed tone. Seeing him here, weak, pale, still a bit sleepy, is so hard. “And you wanted to operate on Marta there!” She snaps with small smile playing on her lips.

“You didn’t let me,” Neil replies softly. “And I’m glad I have more time to tell you how brilliant you are,” he almost gushes over her. His fingers gently gropes her palm.

And his warm hand on hers is enough for her heart to skip a beat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! I’ll be flattered if you leave a feedback:)


	3. You Saved Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s a little smaller than the previous chapters, but I think it’s good that way.
> 
> Don’t forget to leave a feedback, I always read all of your comments and reply to them. It’s so important to me to know what you think about my work:)

Neil’s battered. Pain meds don’t help him, writhing in agony, to make it less uncomfortable. A fresh line of a stitches, that runs through the center of his abdomen, bleeds and unnaturally tightens damaged skin. Muscles are tense as if after the hardest gym session, which was always helpful to clear his head and prepare for the new workday. But now it’s just wrongly aching and making him think only about this morbid feeling.

And he grateful for it. It means he’s alive and that’s more than enough.

He rolls a hospital robe up and carefully unstick the bandage, looking over straight line of his sutured skin edges. It’s cooled in the air and he’s getting goosebumps all over his torso. Claire can’t help but swallows timidly.

“Not as bad as it feels. And it will work with the tattoos,” he says almost optimistically and tries to smile through hissing.

“Want me to give you more painkillers?” Claire asks, seeing exhaustion and weakness in his dark, half open eyes.

“No-no, I don’t want to spend a few more hours in a forced blackout and feel nothing at all. It’s okay,” he shrugs it off.

“It’s gonna hurt for awhile. Your suffering helps nothing, Neil. You still need a good rest, you just went through a hard, long-time surgery,” her head pierced with a memories of waiting and obscurity, she looks down at his hand covered hers, it’s sweaty, but she can’t refuse this tender touch.

“I’m okay, mostly because of you,” he breaths rapidly, but his indicators on the monitor are normal for his state. “You saved me, Claire,” he whispers boldly. He’s surprised of his trembling low voice. And she is, too.

“It was all you. You’ve been there for me when I went through a hard times. You helped me with getting out of the mess that I’ve made. You were listening, you were supporting, you were understanding. And you still are,” she’s quite for a moment. “And I–I can’t lose another person I care about,” Claire closes her glassy from tears eyes. “I can’t lose a person, who cared about me like no one else did...” she stops to catch a sharp breath. “like no one else wanted to care,” he takes her shivering hand between his weak hands and composes them with this small gesture that means nothing and everything at the same time. “It’s you... You saved me. And the only thing I could do to you is return the favor and do everything to make sure you’re gonna live,” she unintentionally leaning closer to his aching after surgery form, half-wrapped up in hospital sheets. “I don’t want to be abandoned anymore,” Claire’s chin goes down to her neck as she tries to make up her mind.

“Claire, there’s still people with you who are not at all like your mother and will never ever wanna leave you,” Melendez replies calmly. “And you saved me not only when you insisted to check up on me – though, I owe you a life for that – but a lot earlier when I was struggling with aftermaths of my ended relationships and everything that got out of hand. We didn’t really talk about it, but just having you as a friend, being with you helped me realize that my life wasn’t ended yet. That it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. That it’s good to have someone to spend a free time together. That it’s good to have someone who understand everything,” he exhales, staring at her in awe. “We just happened to be at the right place at the right time for each other.”

How on earth he’s being able to ignore and hide this feelings for so long?

Neil notices her gaze drawn to their hands. “I’m sorry if it’s bothering you, I don’t want to push you anywhere you don’t feel like it,” he says and then she suddenly looks at his face with her big green eyes. “Uh, sorry, we didn’t even talk about it yet. I just... I don’t know,” he gets it stuck in his head. He’s lost and confused.

“It’s nice,” she touches his forearm with the tips of her fingers of bandaged hand. “Kayla... said to me that I always run from men, from love and that I need to finally stop, because no matter how it’d end it’s worth a try,” he listens her carefully trying not to miss any word she says. “So, this is me stopping,” she’s barely audible, but he hears everything and after a seconds of processing he thinks for a moment that he’s misheard, or he’s slightly foggy mind made it up, or it’s not really what she meant. “I wanted to tell you something before your surgery,” she holds her breath as his eyebrows drew together in soft expression.

“And now you don’t?” He makes nervous chuckle, feeling a bad tension in his ripped and sutured stomach.

“I do,” she protests, places one of her hand on his abdomen, seeing minute sickly expression on Neil’s face, and makes warm circles there to sooth the pain.

“Me too, actually,” he confesses and she tightly squeezes his hand. “I’ll go first,” Neil waits for her nod. “You.. are... a terrible bowler. Maybe the worst I’ve ever seen,” he shifts his sore body a little. “As good you are in a medicine as terrible you are in a bowling. But it’s the reason to take you there again after my recovery and teach you more,” they both scoff and tears suddenly runs down her heated cheeks.

“And I wanted to say that I hate your tattoo. Way too much antler,” she barely exhales. “I love you,” she runs her thumb over his tense palm with protruding vein under his thick, but soft skin. “For a long time now.”

“Thank God, me too,” it’s a bit painful when he rises his hand and places it on one of her flushed cheeks. “I love you,” he says it again just to make her know that for sure.

Claire wastes no time anymore as she pushes herself to him gently and buries herself in the crook of his neck. Neil welcomes her with a hug as tight as he can afford it with the wounded body of his. Her poured curls pleasantly tickled his chilled skin, this is the most desirable feeling for him. And her hot breath on his earlobe is enough to have the pure joy and love course through his entire body and make goosebumps all over him from the almost painful fondness in his heart for this amazing woman.

“It’s not how I wondered it to be. But it’s still great because of you being you and being here with me,” he leans his chin to her shoulder, slightly lifting up a head.

“You make it so hard to leave your side. Ever,” she mumbles into his skin, making him shiver, as she snuggles to him partly with her legs still hanging down the bed and her upper body pressing to him. But then Claire’s head raises a bit to see his dark, slightly open eyes that makes her heart flinch every time he looks at her that way. Affectionately. Contentedly. “It would happen no matter what or it’s only because of an impact of the earthquake?”

“I... think like both. It’ll happen one way or another, but definitely not in this time if it was all fine. With no earthquake,” Melendez’s afraid that she might be offended with this answer, but she perfectly understood that this is boldly truth for both of them. “But we have this timeline and need to be sure it’s right for us now, in this circumstances,” his eyes briefly looks at her swollen, bitten lips. “I feel like it is. The earthquake and our injuries, and my surgery made me think that there’s so much more I wanted to do and might never do. Helped me realize that there’s might be not enough time to live a life like I want it to and who I want it with. And I’m so scared it will affect you as a surgeon, because you’re brilliant just by yourself and you’re going to be an excellent doctor without any help. But I can’t be just your friend and mentor anymore. Can’t hide my feelings. It’s not enough when it comes to you,” Claire’s appreciate his boldness and lighten up at his smitten expression. “And you just made the first move while I was waiting for the right time that doesn’t even exist,” Neil chuckles lightly to avoid the painful tenseness of his abdomen.

“Careful,” Claire glances on his stomach. “I followed your advice. And it turned out for better finally,” her bright smile makes his heart warm, when he remembered what she’s talking about.

He exhales with relief, “Not as bad advice from me as you thought before, huh?”

Her laughter at his sweetly snide comment makes him feeling like an idiot, “If I agree your big ego might not take it.”

“My big ego?” He replies with a scoff.

“It’s a good thing we’re friends and I’m well acquainted with your arrogance already.”

“But now we are...”

She touches her bottom lip with a forefinger, “We definitely have some kind of a love thing.”

“Some kind of a love thing?” He repeats, squinting his eyes and smiling smugly. “And who’s the arrogant one here?”

She leans closer to him, “You like it in me, don’t you?”

“Maybe sometimes I do,” he brushes her wild-curly locks from her face. She’s melting under this touch, nestling her cheek to his palm, closing her eyes for a moment and then suddenly kissing his gentle hand lightly. It’s her way to test the waters before bending down to his face and placing the softest kiss on the corner of his lips.

This small touch is enough to make Neil shivering with pleasure, because he waited for so long to finally be able to have her this close, hold her in his arms, sense her hot breath on his face. He feel the wave of adoration for the woman, who leaning towards him, goes through his whole body.

And it’s one of the most amazing feeling in his life.

He wanted to kiss her for real, fully press his lips to hers, move slowly in the smooth rhythm she sets, deep it, exploring her mouth with his tongue and feeling her response, fighting for the leadership. But it’s not gonna happen here, in the hospital ward, when he confines to bed, looks painfully weak and feels miserable in this situation. At least, not now.

Instead he gently strokes uncovered soft skin on the backside of her neck and then her back, feeling a raising smile on her lips next to his face. Now he totally realizes that patience is worth it. And all the risks, too. Because as long as she is with him, everything else is gonna be okay.

“Do you have work today?” He weakly rubs her cheek with his thumb as she hold his hand closer.

“Uh, yes...” she hesitates. “But not for 36 hours as I should have. And I’m not that helpful now. My damaged hand doesn’t let me work at my full capacity,” she explains.

“It’ll heal soon, you know,” he reassures her. “And as your attending I don’t allow you to operate for as long as it needs to be fully capable again. You don’t have to risk neither your patients nor your hand,” she lightly shrinks at his superior’s serious tone and smiles to him briefly.

“Yeah, I know, Dr. Melendez,” she chuckles and he does, too, feeling the pain pierced in his abdomen and hissing for another time. “I’ll give you more painkillers and you have to rest. All of that is already enough for a person who suffered a big surgery a few hours ago,” she orders and calls for a nurse to come.

Neil can’t stop looking into her emerald eyes, holding her hand.

“I have to go.”

And with that said her warm, gentle hand’s gone. He really needs to sleep more and recharges to heal as properly and quickly as he can after that disaster. 

When nurse comes, Claire uncertainly stands up from the place next to his legs and he feels cold and lonely immediately.

“Dr. Melendez, it’s nice to see you among the living. This earthquake was a real catastrophe for so many people,” nurse Petringa gives him meds.

“I’m glad I’m alive, too. You and all our team saved so many lives today,” he says more softly. “I’ll see you later?” He set eyes on Claire and asks hopefully.

“I’ll pop in again later. Maybe at lunch,” she nods and, seeing his smile.

“Please, come whenever you can. I need some company while I’m here and I know how it’s boring when there’s no one to talk to,” Neil looks at her with his puppy eyes she never seen before and chuckles softly, but don’t say a word about it.

Nurse Petringa glances between them and smiles to herself and Claire feels like she was caught. “Okay. Rest for now,” she touched his hand again subconsciously before she left.

“It’s a good thing to have someone who cares about you,” nurse Petringa says and he turns his gaze from the door where Claire’s gone to her.

“Yeah, right,” he only can reply, feeling a bit guilty.

“I think everyone already knows it, but I won’t tell anything to anyone if you still want to keep it a secret,” she surprises him with that and he looks on her a bit embarrassedly through his already tired eyes.

“Okay,” and then his eyes closes.

***

Neil was floating in and out of sleep for the most of the day, only waking for a few minutes, hearing someone’s coming. Andrews and Glassman came to check on his vitals and know how he feels and if he needs anything. But he was as alright as he can in his recovering condition. They wanted to assure him that everything’s going fine in the hospital in the aftermath of the earthquake. Glassman suggested Neil to take a sabbatical for a month or even a couple of months after a medical leave to make sure he really will be ready to go back to work. He had a major trauma in his abdomen and just suffered a small bowel reconstruction. He is still at risk and need to fully recover to be able to be a surgeon again. So, it’ll take some time anyway. And Neil understands it, but in his chest raises sadness and longing because he knows he won’t return to hospital as a full doctor, like he was before, for a long time.

Audrey wanted to see him living and breathing and talk to him for a small amount of time, enough to let him know that she’d miss them having a drink together if something happened to him. And she made him promise that as soon as he will recovered she’ll pay for the bottle of this fancy scotch he likes and they share it, talking and enjoying one another’s company. And it makes him feel hope.

Claire briefly came to him for a few minutes only to make sure that he’s okay and snuggle to him, kissing his cheek, braver this time. “I’m so glad you’re alive,” she says and he holds her closer until he drifts in his sleep again and she goes back to her patients, that takes all her time she wanted to spend with Neil. But knowing that he’s fine, seeing him by herself, hugging him and kissing him helps her working with more composure and attention.

Shaun visited him to ask if he’s okay and know more about his surgery. He was more energized and lighten up than the others in the hospital. Melendez can’t help but find out why Murphy looks so... happy. And he finds it out real quick. It’s enough Shaun say ‘Lea’ and he understands everything. Melendez was worried more after that, because he still remembers what happened to Shaun not that long ago when Lea, calling herself needy and selfish, didn’t even want to listen about his feelings and he was out of everything for a while, angry at everyone, grumpy. He’s been a pain in the ass and a completely jerk. And now Melendez don’t understand how react to that union, another breakup might be too devastating to Shaun to handle. He only said congratulations and warned him to be more careful with her. Murphy only said in his own manner something about him being careful with every girl he had, well, only Carly. And Melendez then clarified about him worried more about his feelings if something’s going wrong. But Shaun was sure everything going to be good and Neil couldn’t argue with him, because his sleep’s coming again.

Park came to his mentor only in the late afternoon to talk about his future in this hospital and everything that happened in this brewery before his eyes. Melendez wasn’t really ready to talk about such serious things in his stat, but he listened patiently and empathetically. Alex told him about this boy, about his dad that didn’t get there in time, how he stayed with him, how he held him and support until he died. He told Neil that he thought only about his own son. What if something’s happened and he wasn’t around? What if he didn’t get in time when Kellan needs him the most? It’s killing him. And Neil can feel the man’s pain. This tragedy even in words sounds horrible and hurtful for Melendez. He still so tired, but Park’s confession is the thing he can’t sleep anymore. He can only imagine what it was like and still feels heartbroken after this story and his resident’s tearful eyes that he don’t want to hide. Neil places his hand on Alex’s shoulder to support him, being there for him and trying to hold his own tears back.

“I’m so sorry,” Melendez says barely audible. “Talk to Glassman about your leave. Maybe you’ll find a way to stay in St. Bonaventure, because you’re an amazing doctor and your residency will end soon. And take a few days to visit your family. I know you’re on the edge now, but you need to think about everything and clear your head enough to make such a difficult decision,” he advises, feeling not only physically but emotionally tired.

“Yes, I’ll do it. I-I just... I want to be with my family, I’m done being so far away from them,” Park looks unnerved, staring at his mentor and finding a little peace after that talking.

“I understand. Take your time,” Neil pats his shoulder reassuringly and nods to him. He doesn’t know if his going to be okay.

Before Neil get back to sleep he sees Park standing next to the nurses’ station, talking to Claire a bit and trying to get a grip on himself in vain, and she hugs him tightly, trying to sooth his pain a little and crying with him.

It was the hardest 24 hours for all of them.

Claire came again to him only after her shift ended. Still in her rumpled scrubs, looking more worn-out than she was before, exhaled as she close the distance between them and, didn’t even think about sitting in the chair beside his bed where usually sit some kin of a patient, gets on his bed, next to his legs. Her hand immediately finds his and she squeezes it gently, compassionately looking in his eyes. He knows it’s most because of Park and his tragic story, that touching him and especially her with a natural empathy.

“I’m sorry I didn’t have much time to spend with you today,” she glances at him from under her lowered eyelashes, holding her breath a little when he strokes her palm softly with his fingers.

“It’s okay,” he replies gently.

“I brought you something,” she whispers like she’s scared a bit and still relieved when he notices the cross in her other hand. “I prayed when you was in the OR. I don’t know if it helped or was it just because of Andrews... I know you are a believer and maybe you find it helpful because there’s still so much that could happen to you and I...” She’s silent for a moment, looking right into his eyes with slight bitterness. “Thank God, you are alive,” Claire exhales and helps him to put a necklace with a crucifix around his neck.

“Thank you so much,” they both knows, he said not only because of the cross she gave him, but because she saved him, she decided to finally confess her feelings to him – and it was so easy for him to reciprocate, – she was and still is there for him, and she cares about him. For real.

Neil leans up a little and embraces her. He holds her and feels like it’s the most safe place to be, feeling her comforting arms around his shoulders. She leans down with him to prevent the pain in his abdomen that was already there even because of his slight movement. But the only thing he actually cares about is Claire’s tight hug that she gives him. She snuggled to him until he fell asleep again and then she made herself comfortable in this chair next to his bed, holding hand tightly and never let it go for the night. She stayed with him, leaning her head beside their crossed hands and sleeping peacefully as he rested, too, feeling her gentle palm in his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it:)


	4. Unexpected Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone, I finally made it and finished this chapter! Yes, it took me longer than we all expected. But here it is.
> 
> I hope you will enjoy it:)
> 
> Thank you all for waiting and leaving comments, I really appreciate it, guys!

Claire’s preoccupied with a number of patients and Shaun’s too, but now they finally sat in the resident lounge and tries to concentrate on the case, discussing possible treatment.

“I am boring as hell,” both Claire and Shaun raises their heads to the sound of Morgan’s a bit frustrated voice as she, in her dressing gown and hospital robe covered underneath it, comes in and falls on the chair beside Browne. “What’s diagnosis? New patients? Extraordinary cases? Please, I need something to feed my brain, this hospital ward and idleness is killing me already,” she rolls her eyes. “And I can help.”

“Morgan, it’s called recovery and you need this,” Claire says, slightly chuckling at her tired irritation. “And we still remember how it ended the last time you wanted to help. Be grateful you still have a slight chance to have a recovery from those damages,” she returns her gaze to the scan and her notes.

“Oh, please, stop. You’re not Andrews, and now I just really want to brainstorm, even for a short while,” Morgan leans to the scan and looks into it attentively, but Claire turn the screen off.

“Okay, Morgan,” says Shaun and Claire raises her eyebrows, looking at him. “But If you’ll use them I’ll tell Andrews and never come to your ward no matter how boring you are. And Claire, too,” he warns her.

“Fair enough. But don’t think I’m looking for your company all the time, Shaun,” she snidely comments. “So,” she looks more excited and pulls up a chairs closer to Claire.

Browne exhaled displeasedly and explained everything to Reznick about the patient, who suffered an accidental fall with a parachute, get a multiple fractures of both his legs, displacement of spinal cord in upper section, damaged C2 and tissue rupture in the cerebellum. They need to find a way to reconstruct some of the nerves and re-established the cord without causing a full paralysis. Shaun careful put a stack of files with some researches on that topic in front of Morgan and Claire helped her to turn the pages.

Morgan enthusiastically joined a conversation, offering some options for the patient that might work. But she was a bit distraught and still was less competitive and not like her old self anymore after spend almost three weeks with no case discussions, no surgeries, no work at all. It was like she didn’t charge herself for a long time and now was only with a few percent of it in the process.

“So, how’s Melendez doing?” Morgan asks, still reading some research, and Claire winces a little. “I came to him a couple of days ago. Looked more like a living person now. I guess, outcome’s not that bad?” She doesn’t need to raise her head to Claire know this questions directs at her.

“Yeah, he’s doing well,” Claire glances at Morgan for a moment. “Still in pain most of the time but continue to deny it. Exhausted as hell. Risk of diabetes is higher now, but his lactate is just fine,” she smiles a bit to herself, feeling relieved and excited to see him again at lunch. “We can have a lunch with him today, if you want,” she offers.

“Okay,” Shaun says.

Morgan agrees, “Yeah, it would be not so boring, at leas...”

But Murphy doesn’t let her finish, “Is it feel weird that you and Dr. Melendez now together after being friends with him for a while?”

Claire flushed embarrassedly and feels captured. They didn’t tell anyone. But everyone may notice that she spends too many time in his ward. She’s worried, a lot. Not only about his condition – but most of the time, yes, it’s all she can think about – but also about their new relationship. It’s nothing they want actually discuss with others.

And they haven’t even kissed yet. 

This slow pace makes Claire a little frustrating, but their closeness that grow for each day feels incredible and enough for now. She knows they both needed more time after his failed relationship, her not so great ones either, that include a list of one night stands she doesn’t care about at all, her mother’s death, near death experience, especially his. They need to go past it to build strong, healthy and long love relationship.

“Claire,” Morgan says as Claire’s got a feeling of deja vu.

“Uh, well... You ask it only because you want to solve problems with Lea, don’t you?” Claire inquires about the reason.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Shaun sounds insistently.

Claire brings her eyebrows together and smiles dubiously, “We’re not...”

“Oh, cut the crap, St. Claire,” Morgan responds sharply, making Claire look at her with anxiety. “We all knew it’s coming before you even realized it. And nurses already gossips about you holding his hand all the time, staying in his ward for nights, bringing him smoothies, talking, laughing, cuddling... Err, that even sounds disgustingly sappy,” Morgan grimaces.

Morgan’s speech makes Claire sighing, trying find a right words.

“Morgan is right,” Shaun says calmly and Reznick feels a taste of winning. “So...” he still looking for Claire’s answer.

“Um, it’s not weird. Well, at least for now,” she finally replies.

“And when he’ll discharge, do you think it would be different when you’re alone?”

“Of course, but in a good way, I hope. We’ll be able to keep our relationship away from hospital eyes and be more together, not bothering about anyone can punish us for something that we, as an attending and a resident, shouldn’t do,” she chuckles nervously.

“Are you talking about sex?”

Claire stammered, feeling she can run any second, “No...” She almost squeals. “Not now...”

“Ew, Claire, that’s the last thing I want to hear about you and Melendez!” Morgan punches Claire with her forearm slightly.

“...and I don’t want to talk about it either!” Claire says, rubbing her shoulder. “Okay, Shaun, I was talking about every stuff you may experience with loved ones. Being alone with each other is very different from being a couple in public,” she swallows, trying to explain. “When you together with Lea at home, does it feel more intimately, openly when you guys talk to each other?” She asks and Shaun after a few seconds nods. “And hug each other?” Another nod. “That’s what I was talking about. It is different when you and the person you love are together and not under anyone’s attention. You can only understand if it’s the right person or not when you’re in private space, alone. And if you comfortable enough to be who you are, be more vulnerable there with the person and they feel the same way, than it’s the right choice and it’s real,” Claire concludes. “Me and N... Dr. Melendez are gonna find it out soon, so yes, it’d be different.”

“Do you afraid this would end like when it was between him and Dr. Lim?” Shaun asks immediately.

“I don’t... know,” Claire just never thought about it that way. “I hope, it wouldn’t,” she says barely audibly.

“Okay,” he already is texting to someone – well, they are all know who to – and Claire’s looking at him curiously.

“Does it help?” She asks, changing quick glances with Morgan.

“Y-yes. Thank you, Claire,” he says shortly.

“What it was?” Morgan asks, feeling out of place, looking between Shaun and Claire.

“Lea’s upset with me for not wanting to make out with her in the karaoke bar last night,” he responds boldly.

Then he realizes what they can do to the patient, Claire and Morgan expand his idea with a good approaches. And that was it. Shaun almost immediately runs out of resident lounge, telling he need to see Lea and that he’ll be back in twelve minutes.

“And now we have to deal with it all over again?” Morgan rolls her eyes.

“Hope, he’ll get through it easier this time,” Claire says.

“I can’t stand another sex conversation with him,” Reznick exhales making Claire scoff.

“So are you gonna... I don’t know... file a complaint against me and Melendez again?” She asks cautiously, making some more notes about upcoming surgery to show them to Lim later.

“We’ll see,” Morgan give her a puzzling gaze. 

“I... love him. Sorry, I can’t do anything about it,” Claire clarifies.

“Okay.”

Claire stammered, not expecting this simple agreement from Morgan Reznick, absolutely selfish, cold to other’s problems, cared only about her own benefits. Well, she really is a pain in the ass most of the time for all of them. Claire knows that Morgan’s just hiding her vulnerable nature behind this bitchy behavior with people to never get hurt her like she did in her life before. 

“That’s it?” Claire says, turning her head to Morgan.

“I am not gonna apologize again for that complaint if you expected it,” Reznick raises her chin a bit. “I still don’t like the idea of your relationship. It’s gonna change everything. He already treats differently...” she tried to put aside researching files with her forearms, but she couldn’t.

“That’s not true,” Claire defends herself, still, helps Morgan with papers.

“He _is_ favoring you... and from now on it’s mostly personal. I don’t think you need to sleep your way to the top, because you’re smart and a gifted surgeon, just by yourself. But he somewhat will help you, will choose you over anyone even if he won’t notice it. And that is a problem for others,” Morgan gazing with full confidence and pretension. “Anyway, I’m not a surgeon anymore, I’ll be great as an oncologist. But if it doesn’t affect me specifically, it affects Park, Murphy and eventually you, so please deal with it and maybe it’s gonna be fine,” Claire notices slight glimpse of sadness and hope in Morgan’s eyes.

Claire stands up, hesitating, “We’ll figure all that out. And of course, you will be the best oncologist out there, Morgan.”

“You should figure all out or you both will fail and that would be even worse, giving to your history. And thank you. It helps that someone cares about me now like you do,” she changes to grateful mode again. “Even when you don’t always like my boldness and don’t come to my ward in your free time, I still really appreciate when you actually do,” Morgan nods to Claire, thinking about something else as well, and makes her smile a bit in response.

That’s it.

***

Light knock on the glass door. Neil’s eyes ups immediately to meet a well-known person who came to him. When he does, he notices not only her with a couple of bottles with smoothie she made for him and herself but also a three other residents behind her tiny figure that can’t hide them.

“Hey, I brought some people with me,” Claire sees his weak smile and then comes in.

“We thought it’d be nice to have a lunch with you, Dr. Melendez,” Park says.

“Yeah, come in,” he responds quickly. “Thought I’d die from loneliness in this hell of a place already,” Melendez chuckles, feeling slightly, unnoticed by everyone else, brush of Claire’s fingertips on his forearm.

“You’ll get tired of us, though. I promise,” Claire scoffs, can’t take her eyes off his brown ones for a long moment, enjoying his loving gaze that directed at her.

Park sits on the soft bench that is before the big window, not covering with curtains and making the room lighten up. Morgan takes place next to Alex, Shaun finds a chair in the corner of the room and skips into the sit. Claire without any hesitation makes herself comfortable in a familiar chair near Neil’s bed.

“Here,” Claire gives him a bottle of green veggies smoothie.

“Thank you,” he says gracefully, mentally stopping himself from take her hand and kiss it. It’s not what they should do in the sight of other residents, even this sweet kind gesture could make their situation more complicated.

Claire noticed his exhaustion, as his eyes still a bit close and he’s got this dark shadows under his eyes and slightly pale skin tone. But she knows it’s more better now than before. He can’t sleep much because of a pain and meds they give him to prevent an infection and get his BP down sometimes. And this deplorable surroundings doesn’t help his mindfulness and composure at all.

“When will you return to breath down our necks again?” Shaun asks with slight joy, making Melendez scoff.

“I hope soon, Shaun,” he says, looking at Murphy with interest. “I guess, you guys haven’t missed me at all,” his eyebrows flies up.

“We have sometimes. But I like to work with Dr. Lim more,” Shaun bites his sandwich.

“Yes, Shaun, it’s definitely what Dr. Melendez wants to hear now,” Park smiles at the resident and shakes his head lightly. “How are you feeling?”

“A lot better. I can walk by myself, but for not a long time. Pain still there, but not that hard anymore. Everything’s fine with me,” Melendez shrugs and then sees Claire’s stare. “Well, my liver didn’t fail, I hadn’t have a septic shock. Only my blood glucose level a little higher than normal, but it’s not bothering me that much. With diabetes or not, I’m alive, that’s enough,” he gives Claire a reassuring smile as other residents exchanges glances and notes mentally what’s going on here.

“It’s great! Means you’ll come back soon. We’re actually waiting for you. Our team a little shorthanded now, even after I came back,” he notices, sipping his coffee.

“How’s Mia and Kellan?” Melendez asks Park, they still didn’t talking about his long vacations he used to meet with the family after an earthquake. He returned more relaxed in the hospital a couple of days ago.

“They’re fine, more worried about me after... earthquake. But we’re figuring it out. They want me to finish the residency program before moving to Phoenix,” he responds, holding his fork tight, and then starts eating.

“I kinda agree with them. This program will give you so many opportunities in any state, any hospital of the country you’ll choose. But I don’t want to push you,” Neil replies, drinking his smoothie, and get an understanding nod from Park.

“Yeah, I know. When I saw Mia and Kellan everything became good, back to normal even and it made me calmer, more comfortable after I knew that they’re alright. And I like St. Bonaventure. It’s gonna be tough, but residency will end soon. Kellan thinks it’s really worth it,” Alex shrugs.

“The boy’s right, Park. And you worked so hard to cut it off now. You need more time to process that’s okay, but don’t give up so easy,” Morgan sounds a little harsh, but he only exhales with relief. “And now you all can finally calm down, I’m not gonna cut your throat on my way to the top, because I had to choose oncology and leave you,” She tilts her head to the side. “But I know you’re gonna miss me and my bitchiness so much.”

Park, Neil and Claire chuckles as Shaun smiles to her.

“Maybe, I won’t miss you, Morgan,” Shaun says slowly, looking at her for a second.

“Oh, thanks, Shaun. Maybe, I won’t miss you, too,” Morgan grimaces to him, but in a kind way that everyone still can’t get used to.

“So, hands’ recovery is going well?” Neil asks her, seeing Park’s helping her eat.

“Yeah, as well as it can be after those damages I get myself. But you know what? I’d never change my decision, I couldn’t let that woman die, so there I am,” she merely puckers her lips.

“I am proud of you and upset with you at the same time, Morgan,” Melendez says boldly, getting Claire’s puzzled gaze.

“I know the feeling. I’m sorry I let you down, but it was the only possible choice at the time there was not enough doctors and I was available... It’s happened how it is. I thought about it so much and came with that now I just have to be with those hands. I can’t change it. Wait till full recovery, there’s slight chance it’s gonna be better than we all are expecting. But no more surgeries anyway,” she looks a bit guilty, but tries to back an I-don’t-care mask on her face.

“I’m sorry, Morgan. But I think, we could have you here as a consulting doctor, if you want. Just talk to Lim and Andrews. Your knowledges and your skills as a surgeon are still can be useful for others and you can work on papers, researches, diagnosis. More scientifically, less practically, of course. But it can be your best chance in surgery after all,” Neil offers, seeing excitement grows in Morgan’s bright eyes.

“I’ll think about it and talk to Lim. Thank you,” she slightly confused, but more happy, knowing there’s still another choice here.

“You’re welcome, Morgan. And it’s my work as an attending to support you and help you when you lost your way. If you ever want to talk, I’m here, too. Not the best person to talk to... but if you ever do... Any of you,” Neil reassures them all, smiling, and Claire can’t help but suddenly squeezes his hand, making him look at her appreciating expression.

“I’m dating Lea now. It feels really great,” Shaun suddenly tells to Melendez. “I figured that you now want to ask me about my life, so I tell,” he explains happily, seeing quizzical gazes of others in the room that changes to understanding.

“That’s amazing, Shaun. I hope she won’t break your heart again,” Melendez’s worried. “Dating is a good thing, but still, be careful with her,” he gives him a wary gaze.

“Yes, Shaun,” Park agrees.

“You don’t need to worry about it. We love each other,” Shaun assures all of them. “I think I feel the same way about her as Dr. Melendez about Claire. And Claire is not going to break Dr. Melendez’s heart,” he says unexpectedly causing Claire to choke on her coffee that makes everyone look at her with a weird smiles. Claire and Neil exchanges awkward glances, flushing a little that they’re caught.

“Shaun, it’s a little too much,” Park says quickly, grinning to the couple, and looks at his watch. “Uh, lunch’s over already. I need to get back to work, Andrews’ gonna look for me if I won’t show up soon,” he stands.

“Yeah... let’s go,” Morgan agrees, sounding a little... wrong.

“Dr. Lim knows that we’re here...” Shaun starts, but Park closes his hand to the resident’s shoulder, wanting to push him to the door, but not actually does it. “Oh-okay, I get it, we should leave Dr. Melendez and Claire alone,” he unnecessarily clarifies it.

“Uh, Murphy, just go,” Morgan says impatiently.

And they left.

“That was...”

“Yeah,” Claire cringes a bit, but then chuckles softly and leans her forehead on Melendez’s shoulder finally.

“Morgan said to you something about us?” Neil asks as his warm big hand runs down her spine and stops on the small of her back.

“Yes. But it was all Shaun, he started again this love-between-friends conversation and I just couldn’t get out of it.”

Claire raises her head up that her face get too close to his as he still holds her gently, “Hey.”

“Hey,” he responds kindly.

“I think I’m gonna kiss you right now,” she warns with slight anxious and huge excitement at the same time.

“Go for it,” Neil swallows, chuckling softly, looking in her bright under the sunlight eyes, full of a desire right now.

And then her soft lips is on his as she’s moving from chair to the side of his bed. Her hands place on his upper arms, that now feels less fit and strong from all this time without exercises, as he buried his in her loose soft curls. Neil’s moving slowly and lingering his gaze on hers, that was welcomingly close. His tongue leisurely explores her smooth bottom lips, taking in that bittersweet taste from her coffee, and she sharply sighs into his mouth with long-awaited pleasure as he remains this delightful torture. Claire’s gently sucking on his chapped lips, still testing the waters, and more relaxes as he touches her heated cheek with his palm, encouraging her to continue. Her tongue finds his as she opens her mouth a little more impatiently. He’s exploring her mouth tentatively, her reaction on his movement. Her light moans makes him feeling proud and wanting to do more to her.

He feels her fingertips massaging just the right spot on his neck, making him shivering from this sensation. Her full soft lips more firmly, seeking kisses his, feeling goosebumps appears on his skin. His hands are roaming her sides and back as his lips softly moving along hers. Their tongues fight for dominance, getting full access to each other.

They waited for so long. And this kiss lasts like forever.

It’s like the fog in her head when she feels the lack of air and has to pull back from his sweet lips. Her forehead leans to his as they catch a breath, feeling hot and tension around them. Claire’s so warm and huggable right now, in his arms, that he wants to hold her forever. Not ready for her to live his embrace Neil gently snuggles to her, ignoring light pain in his abdomen that comes from this uncomfortable crouched position.

“They... could... see us,” he hears her a little hoarse voice as she suddenly realized what happened. But then... she relaxed again.

“If it makes you feel better I’m just a patient now, not your superior,” he rubs her blushing cheek softly.

“Another kiss will make me feel better, actually,” she whispers without shyness.

“I can help with it,” he chuckles softly and pulls Claire’s lips to his again.


	5. Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really grateful for all of your kind comments, please continue to leave them to me:)

Midnight in the hospital usually is the time when everyone and everything gets quiet. It’s a great peaceful time to collect a thoughts spinning around in the head and then go to pleasant sleep.

And now, there’s one thing in this pre-dream oblivion that makes his heart pounding and him thinking even more. Her beautiful soft voice, almost a whisper, lulling him to sleep and still having him awake. She’s reading his favorite novel Moby Dick, sinking in this small yet enough for her to pull in there comfortably and completely with her legs chair beside his bed.

Neil rubs Claire’s knee slowly and not quite deliberately as she tries to suppress a delighted smile to this little gesture that feels absolutely right and makes her even more comfortable. His whole presence actually does after everything they’ve gone through. And she’s happy just to see him alive and read to him like that, in the night, when his ward is lighten up with a small lamp, making him cozy in this not so good place to be. Not to mention his still hurting body that keeps him awake more than he should in his state.

So, Claire just stays with him, refusing to sleep if he couldn’t, sitting next to his hospital bed, chatting with him or remaining comfortable silence, fluffing his pillow and tucking him in, holding his hand, sometimes laying with her head on his chest (that’s what they both like the most), kissing him gently (and that’s even more thrilling).

And reading now.

Melendez told her what he’s dreaming about. This little island in Thailand, Koh Lanta, where he stayed for eight days, taking six months off the year before med school. He remembered it with a warm, breathtaking feeling in his chest. He was just a boy, who backpacked across Southeast Asia, drinking beer, living in cheap hostels.

And on this island he just enjoyed present, his nowadays for that moment, and that was the most important travel to clean his head and decide what he wanted his life to be.

She absolutely adores this story since he told it. Especially, she’s impressed by the part where he was reading Moby Dick in this vacation. And fell in love. He’s a little worried that now the place is probably overrun with tourists, but if he’ll have a chance this is the first place he wants to go to after everything that happened to him.

He wants to show it to Claire, if she’d be willing to come with him. And, of course, she will, because it seems like the real future plan. For _them_.

Her eyes slowly drifting from line to line, from word to word as they start to closing in this peaceful atmosphere of soft lightening, quiet beeping of the monitor, Neil’s steady breathing. She’s shivering, feeling his reassuring hand making lazy circles on her knee and trying to stay awake not to miss his every touch, absorbing by it.

“You don’t have to stay here for the night, you know?” Neil whispers to keep this comfortable feeling around them.

“I know. I want to,” Claire replies simply and lets herself lower a hand on his palm and squeeze it.

“I’m gonna be fine if you go home and sleep on an actual bed. You need to rest normally,” their eyes locks.

She puts an open book down on her chest, “My rest is okay, you’re the one who doesn’t sleep much.”

“And you’re the one who has a work and need to sleep well before it,” he insists as she already wants to say something. “No, sleeping in this little chair is not a good rest.”

“Neil...” she tilts her head. “I just don’t want to leave you alone. Better I’ll be here, knowing you’re fine, than in my apartment, feeling scared of what could’ve happened to you while I left,” she says softly.

Her hand’s though squeezing his more tight.

“Nothing will happen, Claire. Go home, I’m alright,” he’s trying to sound okay, but his sharp voice makes her stomach falling down.

“I am staying,” she gives him a long look, then lifts the book up and continues reading.

“You’re so stubborn,” he interrupts her, making her eyelashes fly up and meet his soothing gaze.

“So are you,” she gives him a fond smile.

“It’s hard to sleep not only because of the meds but also because of the lack of things I do throughout the day before night. And every time I try to sleep the only thought that beats me inside is tomorrow’s gonna be the same. I’m tired of being helpless and useless,” he frowns.

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” she can’t lie that this is gonna end soon because she doesn’t know how much time he actually needs to fully recover.

He closes his eyes again as the sound of her reading voice flows around him. And his heart sinks when she suddenly placed her gentle hand on his head and tangled fingers in thick back hair, massaging lightly and still without distracting from the book. It takes him not that long to fall asleep finally, listening to her soft, lulling voice and feeling her warmth beside him.

The next morning he wakes up too early, as usual, but she already isn’t there. A fleece blanket and a pillow are casually left on the chair and on top of it – the book. But then he notices his work laptop on the bedside table and a little note:

_”I hope, it will help you feel better._

_P.S.: Don’t overwork yourself, Dr. Melendez._

_– C.”_

He smiles, holding this piece of paper with her handwriting, and knows it’s a step forward along the raw and tough road to full recovery.

***

“See, you’re working already, huh?” Lim approaches his bed, noticing him using his laptop and making some notes.

“Look up to you,” Neil remembered the time they were reversed in the same situation.

“Claire kept vigil here through the night again?” Audrey nods to the chair with the stuff Claire left after her.

“Yeah,” he scoffs. “I complained I’m tired of being useless and she brought me my laptop from the office.”

“Actually, that’s what I wanted to talk to you about,” She tangles her hands together.

He smiles softly to his old friend, “About my complaining? Sorry, that’s what you get for saving my life and almost restraining me to the hospital bed,” comical grimace appears on his face.

“I call it a recovery time. And you have to learn how to rest like for real,” she laughs lightly, “but it’s not what I need to discuss,” her face makes more serious. “You and Claire.”

“I guess, my previous answer doesn’t count as a good one anymore,” Neil’s head tilts. “There is something inappropriate going on between us obviously.”

“I’m well aware there is,” her tone is harder, but she exhales, noticing his frowning glance. “You know... this whole near death experience makes you think about the things you still haven’t done and maybe now you grab a hold of any opportunity to do all of this at once. But it’s not that easy, Neil.”

“What?” The shock’s easy reading on his face.

“Calm down, I don’t want to scold you here. I just want to know if this is just a fling that seems like something bigger because of the earthquake? Because if you think better about this and it’s just a temporary way to feel less love-lonely, than it isn’t worth it and you should leave the girl alone. She deserves so much better than being some sort of a replacement,” Audrey sounds a little frustrating.

The only thing that came to Neil’s mind is ‘What the hell?’

“You really think of me that miserable? It hurts, Audrey. You of all people know all about me and still suppose that I can use women like that?”

Melendez can’t believe she actually said that to him. He’s not a womanizer or playing feelings kind of guy.

“I’m sorry, Neil. But I should have asked that. I really care about you and I know how hard it was for you after all the breakups. But I care about Claire, too. She’s an excellent resident and gonna be a brilliant surgeon. I don’t want to someone jeopardize her career in any way. And you both definitely don’t deserve your hearts to be broken if it all ends eventually between you two and you will have to work in the same department,” she explains, concernedly looking into his faded eyes.

He closes his laptop in one sharp move, “Okay, Audrey, I get it. For the record, it’s not just a fling. It’s absolutely mutual and consensual relationship that will go on. I am sure. And the last thing I want for Claire is her career or her mental health being at risk because of me. And you said right, she deserves better... deserves everything, actually.”

“I’m sorry, Neil, you’re my friend and I’m worried. But you’re also my subordinate and Claire is yours, you remember how difficult it was between us and still you want to be with her, but that’s gonna be even harder. Because both of us were already a recognized surgeons and she is only at the beginning. No matter how smart and talented she is everyone would see all her success through the prism of your relationship...”

“Hell, I know. And I’m scared I’ll make it all unbearable to her. But I just can’t run away from the feelings I have for her, and yes, I’m braver now, after getting through that near death experience. But it doesn’t mean I just want to temporary fill a hole in my heart.”

Like an echo, his voice bounces in the silence of the ward and makes them both wince. They stares at each other’s eyes, stunned by the confession.

“Well, that’s all I need to know for now,” Audrey says more softly. “And, off the record, when did it start?”

He squints his eyes and slowly responds, “After my surgery.”

“Really? I thought you were together even before that complaint. You’ve waited for a long time,” she chuckles lightly and notices that he exhales relievedly.

“We were just friends before and over time it came out that we’re apparently not,” he scoffs. “I love her, Audrey. And I’m so scared I’ll hurt her and be the one who destroyed her career. There’s already rumors out there, all the residents knows about us, well, anybody with eyes can see what’s going on here. But I just feel like she’s the one,” he rubs his a little sweaty hands, feeling like everything now turned to its own place.

She is the one.

“Neil, hey, I’m happy for you. Both of you,” suddenly he feels Audrey’s hand on his shoulder, patting him gently. “It’s always been there, you know, unique connection between you two. You’re a professionals and both a gifted surgeons. I am still worried how it’s going to turn out for you, but you have my support,” her breath slows down.

“Really?” He asks doubtfully.

“Yes, Melendez. But you owe me a bottle of scotch and your company to discuss everything after your recovery,” she smiles genuinely and makes him relax finally.

“Settled,” he grins proudly. “Thank you, Audrey. That means a lot. And please, don’t tell HR anything until the end of my leave. Technically, I am not a superior for now, not even a surgeon. I think, we need more time adjusting to this without board and everybody involvement.”

“Of course, Neil. Take your time and get ready, but I think for the day you return to work your relationship will stop bothering people at all, because it’s gonna be an outdated uninteresting information.”

“Hey!”

Her laugh makes him laughs, too. She glances at her watch quickly.

Andrews comes in the ward with a tablet, looking concerned a little.

“Dr. Lim, Dr. Melendez,” he says.

“Dr. Andrews, what with the scans?” Audrey looks curiously.

“Not all good,” he finally gives Neil a tablet. “You’re healing fine in general. But your small bowel looks swollen,” Marcus explains. “Now tell us how are feeling?”

“Pain in the inside for like two last days when I bend forward, even a bit, or move too quick. BP’s high sometimes, it causes headaches. Dizziness is rare now, so is nausea. A little discomfort from my small bowel after eating. I’m tired most of the time, though I can’t sleep sometimes. And my muscles are weak like they’re dead,” he catches himself on complaining and exaggerating and exhales. “But I guess it’s normal for a forth week after surgery,” he hesitates. “Am I making the worst patient now?”

“Not as much as you think, Neil,” Lim says quickly and ask a nurse to get a bedside ultrasound. “It’s good to admit to your doctors you’re not okay, so we can examine you and know if there’s something we need to worry about and how we can minimize all that bothers you.”

“Vitals are normal. Take your blood samples to know a glucose level,” he explains hastily and places a stethoscope on his chest. “Breathe, uh-huh,” Marcus is baffled. “Okay, that’s good.”

Lim thanks a nurse that get an ultrasound and starts examining Neil’s abdomen, looking at the screen that showed still healing area that a little sore.

“It may cause a bowel obstruction. We need to change some of your meds that, I think, stopped work. And we’re definitely going to check up on everything again, make another abdominal CT scan, run all tests for ours and yours reassurance. But you’re not in crisis, especially according to last results, trust me,” she tilts a head.

“What chances are for another surgery?” He asks seriously.

“Minimal, Neil,” Audrey and Andrews exchange glances.

“I need numbers,” he insists noticing their hesitation and a bit of fear on their faces.

“About four percents.”

“You sure?”

“You’re a doctor too, right? What’s your prognosis?” Lim slightly amuses.

He thinks for a moment, “Maybe, same. But I just want to make sure you’re not hiding anything from me. Because all of it still sounds overly optimistic according to this newfound soreness after all this days of treatment.”

“Neil, there was a chance that happened. All we want now is make you feel better, help you with recovery and put your life back together. We take your samples today. It will be ready in a day. Then if everything will be okay, we’ll monitor you for a few days, give you some other meds and think of discharge after this.”

“Wanna get rid of me that soon, huh?” Neil concerns, a lot, but hides it by jokes.

“You wish,” Lim winks with a snide grin.

Claire appears almost from nowhere, “I’ll lead a surgery today!” she starts saying from the hall and almost flies into Melendez’s ward with a huge smile on her flushed face and excitement in the eyes.

She told before that Glassman was helped her with physical therapy for a hand after it was bandaged for almost two weeks. Her muscles was weakened a little and she was upset, but she never complained to Neil about it. That wouldn’t be fair.

Claire really get off really easy. Actually, it took hers not so much more after that to get to that exact point.

Now, she immediately regrets her rush. Lim and Andrews’ eyes darts to her, slightly smiling to a resident’s cheering expression that’s changing to a bit guilty and embarrassed look.

“Uh-um, sorry,” Claire doesn’t know how to behave in this weird situation. “I didn’t want to interrupt you. Come later,” she retreats doubtful and Neil chuckles quietly yet warily.

She really wants the ground to swallow her up.

“Stay, we finished already,” Andrews reassures and starts walk towards the door.

Melendez feels slight nervous, glancing between Claire, Lim and Andrews cautiously, “Claire, that’s... a great news! I’m glad your hand’s finally okay,” he looks proud of her, though.

“Yes, Claire, You got it,” Audrey says softly to her and Claire blushes smilingly. She’s on Dr. Lim’s service. “You need to know that his small bowel’s swollen,” she looks at resident. “I think he stopped responding to some antibiotics and his inside suture heals less successfully now.”

Claire swallows as her smile fades away, “And what’s next?“

“Don’t worry. We’ll run all tests,” Andrews responds, crossing his arms, and Claire nods anxiously. “And I think it’s gonna be fine. We definitely need to change some of his meds, though, so we check them, too.”

Andrews’ paged and go, although scheduled all tests for Neil first.

“I need to go, too. You, rest for now,” Lim addresses Neil and stops at the door for a second, “And Claire, please, come by my office whenever you’re free,” she smiles a bit and then, getting her nod, leaves.

Cutely blushing face of Claire makes Neil smile softly to her. She approaches and sits beside him on the bed. There’s a thick tension in the air between them.

Neil holds Claire’s hand tightly, making all her worries fade away for a moment.

“I’m sorry about your small bowel,” she places a hand on his abdomen carefully. “How hard does it hurt?”

“Bearable. It’s gonna be fine, Claire, I don’t want you to worry about me even more.”

She sharply exhales and chuckles with sadness, “I am already. What can I do to make you feel better? Push more painkillers? Grab you some hot tea? Smoothie?”

“I’m fine,” he takes her hand to his lips and leaves a tender, thankful kiss in the palm.

“So, work good today?” She nods smilingly in the laptop and his latest notes.

“Yes, finally!” His eyes are lighten up in the midday bright sunshine. “I missed my laptop,” he rubs her soft skin up and down the arm.

“Oh-kay, workaholic,” the sound of her soft laugh pours in his ears like a honey. “I’m happy I reunited you with this thing.”

Her amazing face lines are shining in the sunlight, her soft dark pink lips are spreading the warmth with a blissful smile. And damn those eyes... Beautiful hazel green eyes are sparkling with thrill and looking right into the most hidden place of his insides, in his mind and his heart at once.

Neil revels in her gaze. He sunk into all her vision, to be honest.

“You talked to Lim today, right? That’s why she wants to talk to me?” Claire leans a bit closer to him and her loose wild curls moves to the front of her and lays on her shoulders.

His fingers put a strand of her hair behind her ear, “How did you know?”

“I just see it in you... You look different a little, something’s wrong?”

“No. It was tough but eventually it’s alright,” he reassures her. “She’ll support us when it comes to HR, after my full recovery of course.”

Claire’s breath softens and her hand suddenly rests on his cheek, rubbing small circles with a thumb.

“That’s very kind of her. And... what should I expect from the talk?”

“I don’t know exactly what Audrey’s gonna talk about with you. But she definitely will ask about acknowledge of all the risks, your expectations... your certainty about me,” he looks to the side for a moment. “I love you. I said her that I love you. And you should know it for sure. You’re the one for me. And I hope we’re on the same page.”

Claire melts under his gaze as he finally looks at her. Her hands softly frames his face and she leans down to touch his lips carefully with hers. She moves slowly, but passionately, feeling her heart plummet. Her mind repeats his words over and over again and with each time it sounds even more important and touching. Kissing him now is like a dream she’s so afraid of but can’t resist and should be brave to do it. The most fearful things are the most valuable.

“I love you. And I think you’re the one for me, too,” she spills the kisses over his face and every time puts it back on his smiling lips, looking with her eyes open right into his eyes, as he laughs at this lovely gestures and feels blessed to be with her.

And that’s all he need to know that they’re gonna be fine. Together.


	6. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it took me sooooo long. It’s just not that easy time for me, but I promise, next chapter will be here soon.
> 
> I hope you’ll enjoy it! And please, don’t forget to leave a comment, I really appreciate all of your thoughts on it:)

After that intense talk between Neil and Audrey yesterday about his relationship with Claire, the resident expect the worst when she get to Lim’s office. But it went more better than she thought it could’ve been. They discussed Claire’s intentions, plans on her career; if she understands what she’s doing and don’t have any obstacles on her way related to her ‘thing’, how Audrey called it, with Melendez; if it mutual and she really wants it.

“I hope you know how hard it may be when people starts gossiping about you and your advantages as an attending’s girlfriend. You wouldn’t risk your career like that if it was nothing, right?” Audrey speaks calmly, trying to make Claire comfortable to talk honestly and openly.

Claire swallows slowly, playing with her fingers, “Of course I wouldn’t,” she only can say, tight smile appears on her flushed face.

“Claire, if something is wrong or you feel bad about anything, especially your professional and personal relationship with Melendez, you can come to me. I truly think you work too hard for a chance to be a good doctor – and you are – but if you feel like someone or something pushes you down, just know, I can help. We, women, should stick together,” she tells her, tilting her head and making her way to stood before her table and lean back to it.

“Thank you,” Claire exhales and stands from the chair. “But I-I can handle it,” she smiles politely, wiping her slightly sweaty hands on her pants.

“I don’t even doubt it. Things may change after his discharge. There’s still a long road for him to fully recover and it’s gonna be tough. I hope you’ll get through this and deal with everything at the hospital just fine,” Lim watches her slightly nervous smile, like she waits for something bad coming. “Claire, I’m not going to punish you, I just want to know how hard this situation is, but if it’s real then you got it.”

Claire exhales and looks straight into those dark yet kind eyes of the chief of surgery, “I hope we’ll get through this,” she smiles politely, still playing with her fingers. “I’m sorry, but I should check on my patient. If that’s all and you don’t mind, I’ll go,” Claire glances to the door quickly.

Audrey nods, sighing and smiling with the corner of her lips. She thinks that Neil’s in a good hands as well as Claire.

It went really... painless and easy. And it feels weird to know that Lim’s ready to help Claire if anything when the resident is her ex’s girlfriend now. But it’s nice to know that Lim’s still loyal to other women and wants to defend them if someone’s trying to get them down just because of their gender.

She’s sighs deeply as she leaves chief of surgery’s office and heads down the hallway, getting ready to begin her shift now with the morning rounds as usual. But that day feels different. Like it’s a little more exciting and she’s a a little more free, relieved with everything had settled with Dr. Lim. Except one thing. She hopes Melendez’s tests and bloodwork they did yesterday will be fine. And his reaction on antibiotics will be more successful this time after theirs changing.

Soft sigh leaves her mouth as she notices Andrews, who’s already at the nurses’ station, checking on the new scans, she thinks, as he looking on the tablet’s screen with concerned face and adding some notes to the chart.

“Good morning, Browne. You can start your rounds,” Andrews gives her a pile of charts and she nods, glancing around and noticing Park approaches them. “Morning, Park,” he nods to the resident. “Shaun leads a surgery today and you guys get to the ER after rounds, they need some help there. Agreed?”

“Okay,” Claire and Alex responds, not that happy with them being at the ER while Shaun has a solo surgery, but they could get one there if they’re lucky enough and it’s not too complicated for still a third-year residents. Still, they’re a little disappointed.

“What’s with faces? You both have already had solo surgeries, and you, Browne, just yesterday. Not everyday is that exciting, be patient, kids,” Andrews scoffs and waves his hands to pull them to the work and they, exchanging glances and acceptingly sighing, get to rounds.

They move quickly from ward to ward, checking in on patient’s, talking a bit with them to make sure everything’s going fine, examining post-op sutures, checking vitals, doing a new X-Ray scans if it needs, getting consents from the pre-op patients and explaining them the upcoming procedure.

Park has time to talk a bit to Claire about Mia and Kellan are coming in San Jose this weekend and he just so happy it’s gonna be already in three days. And they’re gonna hike and the next day maybe have dinner in that place with the most delicious pizza his son wants to eat every time his in town. And then he’d like to have a time with just Mia if Kellan’s okay with that and won’t feel abandoned.

Claire just replies with soft smile and light slap on his shoulder with “oh, you just have to see yourself right now, all lit up like a Christmas tree” phrase.

“What’s your plans for the weekend?” Park asks as they walk from ward and heads to the next one.

“Well, I had a whole weekend to myself last week, that time I only have Saturday, so not much. Just usual, good sleep, running, takeout food and a quick check in on Melendez,” Claire shrugs, looking down at the chart and before grinning Park could say something snide to her she heads to the ward. “Nothing too exciting.”

“So, this thing with Melendez is going fine?” He grins to Claire, giving her a long interested gaze.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” she scoffs, looking straight into the chart, as they steps on the way to the next ward.

“Uh-huh, just be careful there, you both had a lack of a good relationships,” he makes her finally glance at him quickly, but it’s enough for him to understand that she’s so aware of that and it’s scared her too.

“Thanks, dad. How come I never thought about it?” She rolls her eyes and he only smiles; there could be a slight irritation, but she really appreciates Parks concern, because it’s nice to have around people who cares about her.

“Should I talk to him paternally, too?” He laughs, feeling her slapping his shoulder. “Speaking of who...” Park says and sees Neil’s confused face, when they walks in and approaches his hospital bed. “Dr. Melendez.”

“Park, Browne,” he greets them.

Claire’s green smiley eyes meets familiar dark ones. “How are you feeling?”

“Nurse gave me a painkillers just before you guys came, so I’m good,” Neil responds and put the table with his laptop to the side. “What’s with the results?” He sounds curious and a little nervous, like he’s ready to hear a bad news.

Claire takes out a paper with the last results on his bloodwork and additional tests and looks at them, reading to herself slowly enough for Melendez to swallow hard and make some noise to get her know he’s prepared for anything, but he’s actually not. He just wants it to be done, to be known, like ripping off a band-aid. Park still takes his vitals, looking with full of concern eyes to hesitating Claire.

“Hey, you scares me here, Claire?” Melendez tries to catch her gaze, exchanging glances with Park who shrugs and finally approaches Claire to know the results.

“It’s... great. It’s all fine, Dr. Melendez, you started responding to the new antibiotics and there was no infection in your abdomen, so... Lucky you,” Alex says and strokes his upper arm lightly before taking his chart from Claire’s hands and filling in his vitals.

“You’re healing really good, Neil,” her whisper and big surprised eyes makes him laugh softly.

“I really am, I guess,” he touches the crucifix Claire once gave him and exhales; he’s still alive and – more than that – he’s getting better.

Claire shakes her head, quickly getting back from her thoughts, “I think, Andrews will stop by soon and tells you more about when you’re gonna discharge and what you’re gonna continue to do after that.”

“You serious? That’s almost over?” His eyes are glowing.

“Well, there’s still a physical therapy, a course of meds and check-ups twice a week for a five weeks. Also you can see a therapist if you want or need to, because, you know, this experience hasn’t been easy for everybody... and you, too. Don’t give up on that,” Park explains carefully and closes his chart.

“I know all of that, I’m still a doctor,” Melendez tilts his head, looking between his residents. “Thank you.”

“We didn’t do anything here,” Park says and notices Claire nods, a little stunned, her disbelieving gaze keeps staying on Melendez.

“All of you have done something that now I’m alive. I’m just grateful.”

No one ever thought their arrogant, self-confident superior who always know what to do and how to it perfect, now glances at his two residents with apprehension and pure gratitude, enlightened and hopeful. Still, there’s a strong fear someone could take it away from him wherever there’s a chance and that makes him think of a lotta opportunities he had missed before ‘cause he was sure it’s a really long life he has and there’s always be another time for it if not now.

But it could’ve disappeared if his fate was less kind to him. Now, he has given more time and he’s gonna manage it right. Because he’s always wanted to do so much more and yet so much little in his life and postponed it and never rushed. There’s all the time in the world, he thought.

His desires overwhelms him and scares him, because he doesn’t want to rush things and still wants to get everything here and now.

As they starts to leave, Melendez’s voice stops them, “Oh, and I just finished reviewing your papers, looks pretty good for me. I send each of you my comments, so check your e-mails. And tell Morgan and Shaun, too. Hope, you find it helpful,” he returns his laptop back on its place to continue working on something.

Claire the first one who smiles immediately with her sparkling eyes, “Thank you so much, and yeah, we’ll tell them,” she squeezes charts that she holds and looks up at Park for a second, seeing him smile smugly at her and then Melendez, but keeps quiet, just watches the scene with his detective kinda look. It’s a little annoying, if you ask Claire. “Sorry again, you had to do it when you’re still not a doctor here. But we just appreciate your opinion and you always give us just the right thoughts so...”

He has a little blush appearing on his cheeks as he listens to Claire and sees her a little guilty yet thankful gaze, “No-no, it’s totally fine, I still have a lack of work, so it was fun and interesting, too. You all did a great job, guys. And as your superior I am proud,” he nods to them encouragingly.

“Thanks, Dr. Melendez,” Park decides to say something finally.

Neil just smiles to them quickly and says, “If you have any questions about it, like _any_ , please, come. Especially, if you want to argue something in my comments or you didn’t get it or whatever, I’m open to discussions and suggestions. Any time,” he clarifies.

“No way I’m missing a chance to argue about work with you... Dr. Melendez,” Claire’s face lits up and both – Melendez and Park – scoff on their own reasons. Neil’s impressed by her bravery and the soft tone she said this; and Park just can’t believe she really dared him like that, shamelessly flirting with her facial expression and her hand gently stroking his forearm.

“Don’t even doubt it, Dr. Browne,” he replies with formality but still, for Park’s keenly observant eye, it seems like there’s only the two of them in the ward. He just gives them to have their little moment, that ends in couple of minutes staring at each other and talking with their eyes only.

And seeing the pinkiness of her cheeks with the softest contented smile playing on her face as she’s studying his slightly beaming eyes, Neil thinks that maybe this time at least he try to get somewhere new in his life.

***

It was exactly two days when Andrews finally allowed Neil to go home and made a first appointment with Glassman in three days. Melendez just started packing his stuff slowly, looking over at his discharge form nurses just left on his nightstand beside his closed laptop and pile of densely written-over sheets of paper with an almost empty pen on top; he’s get a lot of notes and treatment tips for his residents even if they didn’t ask for one, he just takes every chance and every case he can to make himself feel helpful and needed, sometimes it didn’t help, but he tried hard to do the stay in here less boring and worthless, even though he still have had this pain all over his abdomen and get his treatment every now and then. It’s just felt right when he actually was busy with something, then days were hurried and he hoped it just will end soon.

Neil’s so thankful for all the hospital staff to make him feel more comfortable and less useless in this hard situation he get. But the thought he’s gonna back here not so soon feet his discharge beats him harder then ever when he’s packing. He didn’t think about what it’ll be at home until now. He’s going to go to his lonely quiet in too loud way apartment after spending so much time in so noisy, full of people place where even one person could spend some time with him when he felt abandoned or was in pain. Just a nurse, or some doctor.

But he’s most welcomed person was always Claire, even when he wanted her to have a good rest and tried to make her get back to her apartment for resting, he still was so fulfilled she always decided to stay with him and sacrifice her comfort to be there for him. Her presence made him feel better, her touches made him feel alive. And that’s all he ever needed in this almost sleepless nights in the hospital when his meds did their work and also left him awake for too long to rest normally. And she just shared commitment with him and stayed awake too.

Sometimes he even pretended to be asleep, just like he was a kid again, and made her exhaled every time and finally get some sleep as he just was lying in his bed, feeling her hand on his and watching her in this small and so uncomfortable – poor, Claire, – chair she used to rest in with a pillow and a blanket, with her legs under her or stretched on the side of his bed.

“Are you ready, Dr. Melendez?” Nurse Petringa walks in with a wheelchair in front of her.

“Uh, that’s really necessary?” He asks, feeling small dizziness and a sore of his abdomen after being on his legs for the longest time since he gets here after earthquake.

Deena Petringa Just tilts her head and laughs softly, “Come on, Dr. Melendez, you know the drill,” she slaps lightly on the back of the chair.

He nods, looking around his ward where happened too much good and bad moments of his life and just for the past weeks. It feels like there’s nothing out there, outside the hospital, but in here... so many happened to him here, so many changes. 

Is it going to be good if he gets back home finally? He doesn’t know.

Is it gonna be different? He feels, that yes, of course it’ll be so much different.

He gets in the wheelchair and sighs as nurse gives him just a few seconds to some sort of a goodbye to his ward. And then takes him away, leaving all the good moments behind him and also keeping memories in his head.

As she wheels him there’s no one on the floor and he frowns, trying to know where’s everybody, but Petringa only smiles to him and says, “Be patient.”

When they gets out of the elevator and heads to the exit door for patients, Neil finally sees it. He sees everyone from the department, nurses, doctors other staff, standing by the sides of the door and smiling happily to him as he makes his way to it by help of Deena Petringa, “I think, that’s our stop,” she wheels him closer to everyone as they just stand there and watches him proudly to make him know that he’s important for everyone.

And his eyes makes glassy for the second as they all just give him encouraging bright smiles.

He stand up carefully, holding the bag in his hand and notices all of his residents on the right and behind them – Lim, Andrews and Glassman.

“We’re just so glad you’re alive. And we want you to know, it’s an honor for us to treat you and care about you,” Glassman says and everyone just suddenly feels like give Melendez applause, making his face flushed a little.

“Thank you, to everyone. I’m so grateful to have such a patient and committed colleagues. I want to hug all of you but it’s not that easy to stay on my legs for now,” he scoffs a little as he watches every person in here and can’t believe they just stands her to make his leave special.

“You mean so much to us, Dr. Melendez. And we can’t wait you to breath on our necks again,” Park replies, making all of them laugh a little.

And then Neil finally notices Claire in this crowded place, in her casual clothes and her coat on and he looks at her questioningly, she still has about an hour before her shift will be end. But there she was, ready to go. Lim says something to her and she nods with responding and then approaches him, “You didn’t think we make you get home by yourself, did you?” She smiles to him and grabs his bag from his hands. He just steps out with her, leaving all the people inside and heads to her car that waits for them next to the exit.

She drops his bag on the backseat and quickly jumps to Neil holding out a hand for him to get in the car. “Careful,” her fingers wrap around his wrist, helping his frail form to sit as he clenches his jaw when the pain sharply tenses the abdomen. And then he’s in the front seat, leaning back and relaxing. “You okay?” Her barely audible voice sounds anxious as her palm rests on his abdomen and he feels warmth starting in his stomach and coming through his all body.

“Yes, let’s go home,” Neil replies, looking into her green eyes that shines even in the dark of the night. She nods and quickly gets in the car from the other side.

As they drive to his apartment, he feels that his heart pounds in his chest so hard to breath and each of his inhales is too loud in the silence between them and too deep to her for just not noticing it.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on? We can stop for a moment,” her hands unintentionally grazes his knee as she continue drive them but now throws a glances at him.

“No, I’m okay, just nervous,” he responds and her hand stops on his leg, making him shiver but he thankful she can’t see it.

“Tell me about it, maybe it helps,” her hand’s returns back to the wheel.

He looks at her for a moment; braids on the top of her head with loose hair flows down her back, her soft skin slightly glows in the headlights, making her beautiful eyes gleam and her eyelashes tremble a little, her strong hands squeeze the wheel as she carefully drives them on a bit traffic road.

“I just want to go home and, you know, don’t want to. It’s gonna be so different there,” he exhales, turning his gaze to the in front of him. “And who will listen to my whining now when there will be no one around me?” He scoffs sadly and she gives him a long look.

“I know it’s different from being in the hospital when there’s people in your ward or just near it all the time. And anybody could help you. But it’s fine to be home finally after all this weeks of uncomfortable sleep in the hospital bed and walking only for ten or fifteen minutes tops... It’s gonna be your home, familiar surroundings. And you still can work and give a consults, just remotely,” she replies, looking at him gently. “And if you’ll want me to help you or just be there for you after my shifts or on my days off, I will,” her hands tighten around the wheel as they finally pull to his driveway.

And when the car stops he just stares at her, tilting his head a bit and hoping he really meant what she just said. Because it matters so much to him, know that there’s people who cares, especially her.

“It’ll be nice,” he says confidently and takes her hand, smiling as he feels the warmth of her soft skin under his fingers. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me,” he strokes her palm and she nods amusingly.

They gets out of her car and she takes his bag with her as he slowly walks to the door and makes it open.

Neil’s apartment looks too big for him after being in such a small ward for weeks, but it somehow feels good to be there and he exhales, taking in all the things around him, even tiny ones that makes this place his. She notices that he takes his shoes off without even bending over and she follows him.

His apartment looks like he was there only yesterday; he left his work briefcase on the side of his couch and one of his jackets here on the back; a lonely bottle of whiskey towers on the kitchen counter, it’s new one, she thinks, and he never had a chance to open it. Still. But even with this small thing here and there, it looks so clean and neat, because he always likes tidiness.

Claire finally pulls herself from where there both just stood in the hall and starts opening all the windows to make air circulate again in this stale, sweltering place. Returning from the back of his apartment where his master bedroom is, she looks at him, still standing in his apartment and looking around like it’s new. She approaches him hesitantly and his eyes meets hers again.

“You’re home,” she touches his hand lightly, not sure if it’s okay now. Her full of worry eyes make him think how strong she was all the time and how hard she fought for him and wanted to help him get through everything. And he sighs, seeing the world spinning in her bright eyes that looks at him in disbelief.

He’s fine, the only though that was on her mind as looks him closely.

But he only grinning to her and steps closer. His palm rests on the side of her face and he leans down to her. It feels different; they’re alone, in his apartment, and the last time here they were hanging just as friends. But now, it’s so much more between them and it finally okay not to hide it.

“I am,” he only whispers before his lips finally crash on hers.


	7. Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, you’ve waited for so long for this to happen and yes, I finally finished the chapter.
> 
> I hope, you’ll like it. Please, don’t forget to leave a comment. Enjoy!

The first Neil’s evening at home Claire decides to help him first of all with cleaning – there’s an inch of dust over every item in the house and the air was still stale even with all the windows open and air-conditioning work. He tried to clean by himself, but he was only able to wipe the surfaces that he can reach without bending over with wet cloth. It’s embarrassing and so frustrating how small the amount of usual things he can actually do right now.

But Claire, seeing his disappointment in himself only hugs him tightly, reminded him that if he’ll follow doctor’s prescriptions and exclude all the strong loads and everything that’d make his abdomen suffer then he’s gonna get better rather sooner. Neil can slowly start doing things he could before, but only without exerting himself too hard.

And she promised already that she’s staying.

So, she quickly get to her apartment to take extra clothes and then came back – in her sweatpants and a t-shirt with small bag, wild curly hair in a bun on the top of her head, – and started mopping his floors almost right away. Neil just didn’t even have a chance to stop her, instead he offered to return the favor and order something delicious for the late-late dinner, when she’s going to finish everything. And Claire couldn’t refuse it, knowing there’s still no food in his fridge they could use for cooking themselves, so takeout is a good plan.

As the cleaning was done, she appears in his kitchen and smiles smugly, ready for his grateful words. And he laughs a little at this expression on her face with this cute little chin up.

“So, now it’s perfect in here?”

“Absolutely,” he scoffs lightly, catching her bright gaze. “I don’t even know how to thank you, Claire. It’s more than enough help from you already,” he places a kiss on her temple as she stands at the kitchen counter, looking like she’s the winner, smiling brightly and a little smugly to him. “You just had a shift in the hospital and then cleaned up everything here in... what?” He glances at his watch, “Four hours?” his eyebrows lifts.

“Yeah, I just didn’t realize how big your apartment actually is,” she chuckles, resting her palms against his chest carefully and feeling his heartbeat changing. “But it’s fine, now I’m sure it’s all clean for you to leave here until next time.”

Neil places his hands over hers, “Next time? It’s not your chore at all cleaning in my apartment, Claire. I’ll just call the cleaning service, if I won’t be able to do it myself.”

“Okay, then,” she shrugs, playing with his fingers lightly. “Can I use your shower? I’m sweaty and dusty, not good for this sterilized place of yours,” she steps back from him and he misses her gentle hands already.

“Of course,” he replies with smile and strokes her upper arm quickly. “And you can stay for the night, obviously,” he says, hoping it didn’t sound too desperate and insisting. “Only if you want to,” he adds quickly.

“Of course, I want to. You need doctor’s supervision,” she tilts her head.

Neil chuckles lightly, and she suddenly noticed how long his hair’s grown a little; and these still not so long for a cut, but already enough to notice the change locks slightly moves as he leans a little closer to her, “Well, the fact that I’m discharged says the opposite.”

“The fact that you discharged doesn’t mean I’m leaving you all by yourself. So, accept that.”

His mouth twitches for a second; he wants to respond something to that, but only looks at her with his warm gaze.

“Fine, let’s go, then, doctor” he leads her down the hall and opens one of the door. “Guest room is all yours,” she walks in as he stops at the doorway. “Feel free to use new soaps and towels, it’s in the drawer there, well, you know. And if you need anything else, just call me,” he strokes her palm lightly, looking into those amazing green eyes of hers.

She leans up and places a kiss on his cheek first, then in the corner of his lips, and only after that their lips meets, “Thank you,” she whispers, feeling his arms already found a way around her waist.

“It’s the least I can do for everything you already did, so thank you, Claire. Really, all this time you, around me, especially in the hospital... just thank you, I owe you a life,” his hot breath making her kiss him passionately this time, with her palm on his face, rubbing a little flushed skin of his cheeks. “Make yourself at home,” he smiles.

“Thanks,” she repeats and, leaving a peck on his lips, lets him go.

She stayed here once. In this exact room.

They were treating a little boy with stage three cancer for five days, but he didn’t make through a seven-hours surgery, the second one, and died in the operating table. All of them felt so miserable about it. And then... seeing the last hope faded away from his parents’ eyes and them crying together, it’s just was too much to handle. Then Neil just saw Claire, sitting in the locker room with her white knuckles as she squeezes her coat in hands, he just sat beside her and exhaled, carefully taking her hands in his.

He offered to grab a drink and spend some time at his. Without any implication. Just not to be alone.

She could see the same grief in his dark eyes; they both wanted to have someone who knows exactly what’s going on. So, she took the offer.

They just snuggled in his living that night, watching some documentary on TV without paying attention to it and sipping their beers. And as she started to fall asleep, he let her spend the night in his guest room. Seeing the light of hope in his dark lost eyes, she thought for a moment that this was it.

She wanted so badly to kiss him that night and have sex with him just to numb the tensed pain inside her chest and let go of her sorrows. But that didn’t happen. She just hugged him tightly before closing the door. Though, it felt not enough for both of them.

But Claire can’t say she regret it now. That wasn’t the right time for them nor the right moment in their life at all. And it definitely wouldn’t help anything.

Claire looks around again before goes in the bathroom. She takes her time in the shower, still feeling no release and only tension. Like something’s going to happen anyway. She exhales, leaning back to wall and letting the hot water and thick steam wrap her tense body up. Sudden exhaustion makes her feel like someone threw her up, but there was no fall and she’s wandering for a long time with her breath took away and helplessness stuck on her until she finally meet the ground.

Now she can barely move, feeling all of those days of fear, waiting, workload crashing onto her. And she could stay like that for a long time, feeling her muscles recovering and mind cleaning.

Until she suddenly hears a bang sound and a loud deep gasp after a few seconds from the outside, turning off water. She pull a towel on her with quick motion, grabs her bag as she already was at the door to the hallway. Her damp feet slip on the floor, while her mind’s only swallowed by reaching Neil instantly.

She carefully knocks on his bedroom door, “Neil? Are you okay? Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” she hears his suppressed voice and carefully turns the door knob. “My phone fell and I just bend down too sharply,” he sits at the end of his bed with his shirt getting up and hands working on the big band aid across his abdomen. He finally gets his eyes meet hers, there’s a fleeting glimpse of clarity that takes his breath for a moment in his glance, when he sees her sincere concern, that he used to notice in the hospital. But now, at his home, it’s just frenzied him, “Sorry, didn’t mean to worry you.”

“Let me see,” she approaches him quickly and leans over, helping with removing band aid and starting examine. “That hurts?” Her fingers gently presses near his forming scar.

“Not much,” he responds. “And no dizziness, weakness, nausea or anything like that. I’m fine,” he reassures her, feeling his heart skipped a beat as he sees the only thing she’s wearing is a towel around her still wet body, exposing a lot of glimmering skin.

Claire checks his blood pressure, then quickly uses an antiseptic to clean his skin before changing the dressing, “Okay. Looks like no internal bleeding,” she pulls out an antibiotic ointment and squeezes it, then her warm hands returns to his abdomen, massaging the scar tissue and making him feel better.

Mostly, because of her gentle touches.

Neil swallows too aloud, making her look up from her position on her knees on the floor; that’s compromising and a little awkward, he thinks, “Uh-um, please, sit here, it’s more comfortable,” his hand pats a place on the bed beside him and she, finally realizing, how it looks, tries to cover her flushed face as she sits on the edge of the bed.

“Sorry, that’s... quite embarrassing. I didn’t mean to confuse you,” she starts hastily dressing the healing wound and packing her things back in her medical bag.

He looks at her rushing and pull his t-shirt down when she finished, “It is confusing, but because of me, not you,” his hand runs over his face as he stands rapidly, feeling the tension in his abdomen again. “Damn, I can’t even lift my fallen phone.”

Noticing device on the floor next to her, she bends down carefully to lift it, holding her towel tight, “It’ll pass, but it takes some time,” the phone is placed in his hands after a second of his freezing.

“It’ll never pass totally. I’m helpless, Claire, and you can’t change it no matter how you try. And I hate this... I hate, that I can’t even take care of myself,” there’s a huge disappointment in his eyes, that drowning in sorrow sadness inside.

“Neil, hey, it’s okay to get help, because it’s still painful to do usual things, it doesn’t mean you are weak or anything. It’s how things are, but only for now.”

“It’s not okay, that I’m a _fucking_ mess, Claire, and you can’t promise it’s only for now, okay? You just can’t!”

His voice cracks.

“Neil,” her hazel green eyes keep watching him, trying to catch his gaze, but it slips away. “I just want to remind you, that you’re the best surgeon I’ve ever worked with. And you of all people should be well aware of outcomes and recovery time for your case,” she keeps some distance, but she’s standing closer to him after this little speech, encouraging him to believe in himself again. “It’s not your fault, it’s gonna be okay someday. And I’ll be there for you, if you want me,” her skin starts shivering under the cool air of his room with windows open.

“Stop it, stop being so nice to me. Everyone so caring, so understanding. But I’m sick of it, I want to be okay again and I can’t. That’s not how I wanted things to be, especially between us...”

Soft light in the room starts blinking, dipping space around them in more dark atmosphere. She finds the cause of the fading not only in the barely noticeable light, but also in his dark unhappy eyes, and she feels gut-wrenching fear, exhaling silently.

But suddenly cuts him off, “Me neither, Neil. But that’s it and we have to deal with how things actually are,” she reaches out to hold his hand, but he pulls it away, leaving her palm in the lonely space between them.

“I don’t know, if you’re still here because you pity me or you actually feel something.”

His words cuts deep in her heart, making her chest ache.

“You know, what? I am sick of this situation, too, but I tried so hard to make everything like it was before to help you be who you were before, to soften the effects, and you can’t even get it!”

“I’m weak, and you, Claire, you just...”

His voice sounds more calm, but it still feels wrong. And this stupid light in the lamp continues blinking. He finally notices this, too, but it doesn’t bother him as much as her.

“I just wanted to help you get through this as smooth as it could be.”

Neil’s audible exhale makes her jaw clenches.

“I’m sorry, just leave me alone,” he let his shoulders down.

And there’s his back is the only thing she can see. Frowning, she quietly leaving his room and closing in the guest one. But is there a place for her at all? The thought, that he wanted her to leave not only him in his space alone, but maybe, his life too, beats her hard from the deep inside of her mind and her soul at once.

She changes in her fresh clothes, hearing knocks on the door. Just their takeout, that‘d never be eaten.

Her gaze falls for his slowly opening mouth, but she cuts him off with simple, “Take your time.”

Their eyes meet again, when she slowly moves past him in the hallway and hides in the her room for tonight.

Delivered food on the kitchen counter in front of him is the only reminding thing about their faded mood – she wanted to spend time at late-late dinner here, with him, but it’s all faded away.

As her door shuts and she pulls her blanket on, there’s no feel of sleep, only loads of regrets in her chest, that squeezed her soul and tried to rip it apart, making her breath go away from her.

Till the sun starts raising above the horizon just so slightly, she couldn’t close her eyes not for a second. But the long day finally gets down on her, making her dip in fluffy covers and pillows, that still smells like detergently fresh, there’s even some flowers notes in it she can feel – these sheets weren’t used since the last wash and remained in the dark closet, before she put them on the bed a few hours ago.

Now, it’s all – soft sunlight, fresh smell, warm and fluffy sheets, tiredness – wraps her in a bubble and slowly drives her to sleep. And the time she thinks that’s it, that she’s gonna be sound asleep till noon, his big dark eyes, that were so disappointed and sad, happens to fulfill her mind.

And she hears barely audible knocks like somewhere far far away from her place. But as her eyelashes trembles and feel of the reality turns back to her, it’s right behind her door, where the sound comes from, “Yeah?” She only can whisper, feeling her voice was like kept away from her. “Come in,” this time louder.

His body leans on the door frame, as it opens, “Sorry, but I... couldn’t get a wink of sleep,” her green eyes staring at him, staying at the door and hesitating to make a move inside.

“Me too.”

She exhales, catching his thoughtful eyes with hers.

“I know, you try hard to make it easy on me, and at the moment it really felt too much for me... I’m not used to be weak, physically and emotionally, because that time at the hospital wasn’t a vacation, you know. You don’t have to deal with it, Claire.”

Sunlight slowly touches her curls and the side of her beautiful yet so sleepy and tired face from behind and makes it all glowing and shining in the way, that Neil’s breath is taken.

“You keep saying it like you’re a burden, but you are not,” she says slowly to make him understand it and believe in it.

He hides his gaze from her again, looking down to the floor, “Well, it feels like it.”

“There’s no need for you to doubt yourself because of how things are. You mean so much to me. It can’t change your health condition. And I know, that it’s gonna be perfect one day. Be more patient,” her chin rests on her hand as she watches him, eagerly to make him feel better.

“You know, you deserve the world, right?” He smiles sadly other, and she’s afraid he’s gonna end their relationship, everything they were building up for a long time. “I can’t make your life great, because of what I am now. And I’m sorry,” he crosses his hands.

Still, there’s a small glimpse of his previous self – cocky Dr. Melendez – that knows what his doing and what he wants. Only for now it’s not all right. More sorrows, more sadness, more doubts, more fears, in his eyes especially.

“Don’t judge yourself so bad, you just make it out of death bed nonetheless. It’s okay with me to wait, if that’s what you want to know,” she tilts her head, giving him soft gaze and making him feel worthy again. “Neil, you were there for me when it was dark times in my life, let me return the favor?” He nods so slightly, not sure of he could be more forbearing himself. “And... Just having you in my life makes it great, because I know that I’m loved.”

He tilts his head, “I do love you.”

She giggles lightly, and he can swear it’s the most amazing and reassuring sound he ver heard. It makes his heart flip as she finally says, “I do love you too,” she pauses for a moment, “even when you’re so grumpy and stubborn. But I get along with it.”

“I bet you did,” he smiles to her genuinely. “Still, I was a jerk and I am sorry.”

“I can live with that,” she drops her head against the crumpled pillow, feeling better and seeing the real light finally. “Wanna make me company? It’s still too early to get up and we haven’t even slept yet.” 

“If you don’t mind,” he still so careful with those boundaries, a small amount of them, he doesn’t want to ruin if she isn’t ready. They take things slow, he keeps reminding himself every time it comes to something new with Claire.

Like now, it’s sleeping together in the bed – still not his, yet the one in his apartment. And that’s makes his stomach flutters in the way full of excitement.

He slips under the blanket slowly and immediately feels her warmth next to him.

“Does it still hurt?”

“No more than it should.”

“Making the worst patient here, are we?” She scoffs lightly, glancing at the shadows under his sleepy eyes and wrinkles at the corner of it, that looks deeper when his scoffs at her line.

His hand sneaks to her waist under the sheets, while she touches his face lightly with her hand, exploring his smiley cheeks and lips with the fingertips. He leans to her and kisses her head, closing eyes for a moment as he enjoys the feel of her body in his arms.

“You have to see a therapist, Neil. It’s a lot on your plate right now, really,” she doesn’t have to remind him, how much his life now is no near the one that was before the earthquake. She caresses his chest softly and touches his chin, making him look at her. “I want you to think not only of your physical health, but also mental.”

Neil nods immediately, still feeling overwhelmed with her petite form pressed to his side carefully enough to avoid unnecessary pressure on his ache abdomen, but cling onto him sensually, resting one of her arm on his chest and wrapping both her legs around his.

That’s the most peaceful yet thrilling early morning in his life – with her familiar form in his arms, sunlight dancing chaotically on their exposed skin, their blanket and walls. Comforting and significant. He’d been looking for it for a long time, and suddenly found it with the woman, who was his resident, then became his friend and it just unfolded naturally that there’s always more than just platonic in whatever relationship they had. Way more.

And he can’t be more grateful for a _home_ he found in their commitment.

And he finally whispers like he tries to prevent ruining their little bubble, “I think, it never hurts,”

He leans down to leave a kiss on her naked shoulder, relishing of running his hand down her back. Her fingers slowly moves down his corps to help him loosening up muscles in his abdomen; the mildness of her gaze sticked to his dazed eyes makes him exhale sharply.

“You hurt? It’s me?.. I did something wrong?”

“No, Claire. It’s alright. I’m fine. With you, I am always fine,” the sound of his voice fades into her loose curls as they starts drifting to sleep, holding each other closely.

She’s almost hypnotizing by the mellow tone of his muffled voice.

Her lips leave a trail of tender kisses on his jaw and neck. It’s still hard to believe, that he’s with her, here, cuddling beside her and feeling as comfortable as he never was. It doesn’t even bother him, that his abdomen is tensed all the time. And it hurts too, because his painkillers nowhere near the hospital’s.

But he’s finally relieved. It’s still a long road, but he picks up speed on the way to the full recovery. And with her – the most compassionate person he knows – it’s gonna be okay one day. For as long as she wants to be with him, he’s gonna be 

And he remembered, that the light bulb in his bedroom is already changed. So, it doesn’t blink anymore.

It’s been only a few hours before he started to wake. And after long minutes his eyes slowly open and his right arm’s freeze. For a second, looking around the room, he thinks that it’s only because Claire sleeps on it through the whole time.

But then he realizes she actually rests on the other side.

Neil’s body jump on the bed to quick, his head feels a little foggy and dizzy as everything in his abdomen gets all twisted in knots, and he make a sharp groan absent-mindedly, waking Claire up immediately.

Still with her eyes half-closed, she moves to his side, her wild curls flies all around him as she tries to get a good position next to him, scared and in pain. She takes his hands in hers, feeling one of them shakes and the other just stays still.

“Hey, hey, are you okay? Anything hurts? What happened?” She mumbles quickly, rubbing his hands to calm the man down.

“I-I don’t feel my hand,” Neil doesn’t even care about his abdomen somehow.

Claire starts massage both his palms, all knuckles, moving over his skin tenderly and trying to be fine herself.

“It must’ve been your painkillers or some antibiotics. But it’ll be good soon. Let me just...” she focuses on rubbing not only his right hand, but the whole arm to make nerves work and blood circulate again. He holds his breath until his fingers finally starts moving slowly and he lets out an audible exhale mixed with sobbing. “It’s fine now, yeah?”

“Yes... But please don’t take your hands away,” he whispers in the morning silence as more light now is blanketed the whole room; hey just forgot to close curtains before they fell asleep, but it feels right to be under the warm of this bright day and still stays in the heated bed, under those crumpled sheets, feeling the smell of detergent freshness is slowly melting and mixing with the scent of their skins and fading perfumes.

Claire takes his hands up and kisses one and then the other palm, still rubbing it, but now only with her thumbs.

“You’re shivering,” and shaking actually, she thinks and covers both of his hands with her one of hers to throw a blanket over them. It’s a nice kind of cocoon makes them feel save.

“I was scared,” he only says. “Numbness is a side effect of my painkillers, so it should be fine.”

“Please, tell Dr. Glassman about it...”

“I am a doctor, too. I know, what’s going on here, I just... I was confused.”

“Neil, you’ll tell him and then listen what’s your options,” she replies solemnly, and he smiles to her, making corners of her lips tremble as she tries to prevent herself from smile back and keep her serious doctor kinda look.

But those lose and wind swept curls, framing her cute sleepy face, doesn’t match with her serious gaze, she sends him.

“You’re incredible. Intelligent and beautiful. Just... I feel lucky,” he suddenly responds, loosing into her bright green eyes, that glows under the sunlight.

“This sweet-talking doesn’t cancel the fact, that you have to talk to Glassman about the side effect of your meds and find out, what to do next,” Claire smiles softly and leans up to kiss him gently. “I feel lucky to have you, too. And I hope, soon you’ll be healthy.”

She continues to kiss him slowly, running her hands up and down his chest and then resting them on the nape of his neck, massaging the back of his head carefully.

He slides his hands down her sides and moves around her waist only to feel exposed skin of her back. “I hope that, too. Maybe... we will be able even to have sex one day, but... that’s just... a dream now,” he make her giggle through their passionate kiss, that starts to go too far before they even know it; her tongue’s already studying his mouth; the muffled moan escapes her lips as his lips sucks on her bottom one eagerly and his hands runs even so slowly on her back under the shirt.

She’s moving away a bit and panting, inhaling deeply, as her forehead rests against his, “Mhm... Neil, it’s... I really hope you’ll be well as soon as possible... But there’s no rush,” she can’t stop herself and gives him another long kiss, reveling in his smooth lips on hers and tender arms around her body.

“No, there’s no rush,” he mumbles in the kiss, not ready to let her go.


End file.
